On Cutting Bait

"Fish or cut bait" is real (reel?!) thing if you're fishing, and a folksy metaphor for a concise call to action for almost any stalemate we face. It's the conscious decision to focus and evaluate, either staying the course (fish) or making a change to something more useful or productive (cutting bait).

Each of us has had beliefs we held on to for too long, actions we kept repeating despite not getting the results we wanted. Sometimes it's personal pride, other times there are financial concerns, but the question is the same: Do we keep on this path, or make another choice?

Staging and design work is rife with these struggles. Some are serious matters, others not so much. But they all consume without a return: your time and energy, your brain space and life force.

Should you keep the uncomfortable sofa no one sits in? Stay with the well-intentioned paint choice that wasn't what you expected (and have hated since)? Delay a meaningful task or project until you can find the time to do it? Dedicate space or dollars to keep, or work around things you just don't like?

Most people take decisions about their space and things quite seriously, so revisiting what hasn't worked can be painful. Reports of low inventory and bidding wars are an especially bitter pill to swallow for home sellers whose listing has gotten lackluster results.

For many, staying the course becomes almost a moral issue: penance for their "bad" or costly decisions, or guilt because they really should (fill in your own blank). NOOOO! Yes, we all face this, but it doesn't have to be that way.

My own cutting bait scenario involves single socks and earrings.

Socks or earrings that go missing are disappointing, but a part of life for most. Not me. Written in attempted modesty font I have a remarkable track record of finding things.

Proudest find? The car/driver that slammed into my car on the Taconic one rainy night and kept driving. (Yes, I did!) So naturally I just reject that MY socks could go missing. I keep the orphans in a pile, expecting their mate to turn up at any moment: found folded into a piece of less-used laundry or in some other unexpected place.

Missing earrings are deeper as I love my earrings, and have a phenomenal record of finding most of the lost ones, in the damnedest of places. Yet these two have stubbornly stayed single. And they mock me. Or, better said, I allow them to mock me. One, kept on my desk, the other on a shelf above the kitchen sink.

Singles for some time (okay, years), no idea where I lost one, but I know where the other one is. Kinda-sorta. And despite all logic, I let it torture me more. It went rogue one off-season, on Rye Playland beach walking with my dog Mona. And yes, even if it turned up I know it'd be terribly degraded from being in the water all this time...but yet, I still look.

I share this story for a few reasons.

If you're feeling stuck, you're not alone. We may think we are so unique when it comes to things that weigh on us. But an entire career in the spaces-people-stuff business, and trust me, we're not. We ALL want to finally like that uncomfortable sofa, pick that right paint color, or be able to lay that new floor: But the time, patience, skill sets, and expectations don't always line up.

As a designer and home stager, I've seen the pain and costs of indecision, and the effects of hanging on to regret. But I've also witnessed clients' relief, joy, and freedom from working it through: Donating the sofa, repainting, or bringing in help to do something quickly, right, and well.

Life is too short to be surrounded by things you don't like, in a space that doesn't make you happy, or to be putting time into something that's just not working out.

The Refreshed Home and its digital sister Orange Boom are design and listing prep agencies created with a different approach. While we can do or manage most of whatever you might need done, we are independent consultancies, focusing first on you and your process.

Are you or your clients buying, selling, or staying and improving? Our consults might be all you need to untangle and solve problems, giving you the tools to move forward. You drive the bus. You control the level of involvement and the costs. Want to know more? Just start the conversation!

Marie Graham has all sorts of design and home staging accreditations, but more importantly, an entire career spent helping thousands of Westchester County residents right the complicated relationships they have with their space and their stuff.