Friday, December 23, 2011
Who are you? Who are you? You look like him, your voice sounds like him, but something is not right about you. Your eyes seem disconnected from this world, from our life. Your head seems to take you away from me on purpose. Does PTSD enjoy ruining so much? I think of PTSD as this evil nasty old troll that lives in my Husbands head. I think I should name the troll....any ideas? Somedays it helps to have a picture of this troll in my head (the PTSD troll) so that I have something I can visualize that I am mad at. Now if only I could scream at the troll, punch the troll, shoot the troll, and just literally kick the s*it out of everyday. I have thought of asking my Husband if its really him speaking or the troll when he is having his "moments", but I just do not see that conversation ending well lol. How did this troll get into his head? It almost feels as if the army did it themselves, just sat around one night delivering the trolls to all the men and women coming home. Is that messed up for me to think? At what point will our military and government say that the cost of war is to high? That the sanity of our military memebers is more important? There has to be another way to deal with evil that does not sacrafice so much for the military men, women, and there families. But I am guessing that if I knew the answer to that question I would be more then just a house wife, maybe President lol. I have no need to be rich or famous I just want my Husband back. I WANT HIM BACK I WANT HIM BACK I WANT HIM BACK I WANT HIM BACK I WANT HIM BACK I WANT HIM BACK!!!!!!!!! WHERE DID HE GO?! Please tell me where they sent him where did he go where is his soul? where is his heart? Why do I look in his eyes somedays and see nothing? No life. No hope. Just nothing...