Writing Is On The Wall, Detroit Court Bans Pens And Pencils

DETROIT, MI — Pencils down, and pens and markers, too: It’s not the command of a test proctor, but the order of Detroit’s 36th District Court, which has added the writing utensils to a list of items visitors can’t take into court. The list includes an assortment of expected items like brass and glass knuckles, box cutters and knives, and guns and ammunition, but also — and we solemnly swear this to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth — live or dead bed bugs.

The problem isn’t that pens and pencils can be used as projectiles, though that’s an issue the ban also addresses, but that people are already marking up wall murals depicting Detroit’s skyline, streets and symbols of justice that were installed last week in the state’s busiest court building. Writing isn’t prohibited, and attorneys and reporters can bring in writing instruments, but the public at large will need to use stationary clipboards and pens that have been installed in the the 26 courtrooms.

The new policy is effective immediately and will remain in place indefinitely.

“It was a sudden change, I’ll admit,” Court Administrator Kelli Moore Owen told The Detroit News. “We just want people to respect the building and not vandalize.

“You wouldn’t go vandalize your house,” she said.

So, what else is on the list? Here is a complete list of banned items:

• Alcoholic beverages

• Ammunition
• Batteries
• Box cutters
• Brass/glass knuckles
• Bullets (anything resembling or similar)
• Cameras and recording devices
• Can openers of any kind, including P38s
• Cans (aluminum and metal)
• Cell phones
• Chains
• Cigar cutters
• Cigarette lighters
• Combs (metal or rattail)
• Cord-like objects, including ropes, chains straps, heavy belts, wires and retractable key chains
• Curling irons
• Darts
• Dental floss
• Drug paraphernalia
• Electronic cigarettes
• Electronic devices (laptops, tablets)
• Explosive materials or objects
• Flashlights
• Flatware (which includes knives, forks or spoons)
• Food or beverages
• Glass or mirrors of any kind, including glass bottles of any kind
• Guns or replicas of guns, gun holsters
• Grease pencil
• Hair clippers
• Handcuffs and handcuff keys
• Heavy metal objects
• Illegal drugs
• Knives (any kind)
• Live or dead bed bugs or insects as exhibits
• Master locks
• Nail clippers and metal nail files
• Needles of any kind, except with medical documentation
• Noisemakers of any kind
• Paints of any kind
• Pencil sharpener
• Razors or razor blades
• Safety pins
• Scissors
• Screwdrivers
• Smart watches
• Spikes on shoes or clothing
• Sprays of any kind (bug, mace, hair pepper spray, aerosols, perfume, cologne)
• Staplers or staple removers
• Tools of any sort (which includes hammers, saw, measuring tape, etc.)
• Tweezers
• Weapon-like objects, including bats, clubs, batons, irons
• Weapons, including toys or replicas (except law enforcement with ID)
• Whistles
• Writing instruments (pens, pencils, highlighters, markers, etc.)

Photo by Joe Strupek via Flickr Commons