Easing the Grieving Process: Getting Your Affairs in Order

Let’s face it, death is a pretty unpleasant thing to talk about, or even think about. Yet it does happen to each of us eventually. Even more unpleasant to think about is what our families have to go through after it happens.

The grieving process is difficult enough on its own, wrought with myriad emotions and feelings of loss. But during this time our families also have to deal with making a lot of personal, legal and financial decisions on our behalf.

We can make this process much easier on our survivors by taking some time in advance to organize information that will help them with these decisions. By putting our paperwork in order we can take a lot of the burden off of our families and allow them to grieve with as little stress as possible. 

Dr. David Falk, PhD, a Psychologist and Psychoanalyst located in Beachwood has seen many families dealing with the strain of both the psychological effects and the logistical issues of death. “If practical matters were taken care of in advance,” Dr. Falk says, “families could then just deal with the shock and sadness of their loss, without the added pressure and confusion of having to figure out the wishes of their loved one.”

At a minimum, every adult should prepare a Last Will and Testament, a Power of Attorney, a Healthcare Power of Attorney and a HIPA release. You may also wish to prepare a Living Will.  For more information please see the following article: .

It is also a good idea to organize your personal paperwork and information to make it easier to find after your death. The location of your will, insurance policies, safe deposit box keys, and account passwords are examples of things your family will need to know. Says Dr. Falk, “The last thing a family member wants to do while grieving is to search through files, desk drawers, and checkbooks to try to sort things out.” 

My Survivor’s Guide: All You Need to Know When I’m Gone, written by Nikki Evans of Spotlight Writing in Shaker Heights, is a helpful tool for organizing your affairs. The guide is a fill-in-the-blank book with sections on doctor and attorney contact information, organ donation, funeral preferences, donations and disposition of possessions, social media accounts, website usernames and passwords, and locations of various accounts and policies.

By getting this information organized, you allow your family to breathe easier, knowing they are carrying out your wishes and not just guessing what you would want them to do. Says Dr. Falk, “Collecting your information and thoughts in a logical format lessens the burden of loss and emotional upheaval on your family.”

It can often be difficult to begin these conversations with your family, however. Says Evans, “People often begin thinking about these issues as they get older, but they are afraid to upset the family by talking about them.” Filling out My Survivor’s Guide can be a neutral way to start engaging your family in a dialogue about the subject. Dr. Falk agrees, “This is difficult to face and do, but it can be reassuring to both you and your family to know that your wishes will be taken care of and your family doesn’t have to guess.”

Dr. David Falk may be reached at 216-831-1014 or www.drdavidifalk.com and Nikki Evans may be reached at 216-544-0212 or www.mysurvivorsguide.net