One Couple Says Same Sex Marriage Matters to Children

Tom Schumann's parents help the 9-year-old with the kinds of things most parents do. 

They help coach his Cleveland Heights hockey team, they help him with his homework, they play ball with him in the yard. 

But because the 9-year-old boy's parents are gay, they can't provide for him what married, heterosexual couples can provide. 

Mostly, one of them can't assume parenting of the boy if the other dies. 

Benefits stop at discounted family membership at rec center

They'd get married if they could, but it's not legal in Ohio. 

“We’ve been together 11 years,” Betsy Schumann said of she and her partner, Eve Prikryl, whom she met while playing ice hockey at the city’s ice rink. Both are 43.

As a couple, Betsy and Eve enjoy some benefits.  As residents of Cleveland Heights, one of the more gay-friendly towns in Ohio, they did register as domestic partners when the city permitted it in 2004. And that comes with benefits.

“We get the discounted family membership at the rec center,” Prikryl said. “That’s about it.”

They would get more benefits if they worked for the city, but neither does.

Prikryl is a contractor who works for herself and Schumann works for her family’s Bedford, OH business.  

Schumann’s family would like to add her partner on to Schumann’s family medical insurance plan, which also covers, their son, but the company that provides her insurance won’t allow it unless they are married.

Who will care for their son?

What they want is equality, especially when it comes to rights and benefits concerning their son.  

Schumann is Tom’s birth mother and as a result, Prikryl has no legal rights to what happens to Tom should Schumann die.

“When we got together and wanted to have a child, we felt obligated to make a whole series of legal documents that would protect our property, investment and money, medical power of attorney, living will,” Schumann said. “We also draw up papers that would give Eve custody rights to Tom should something happen to me.”

Although papers have been drawn up saying Prikryl should raise Tom, the documents are just a request, and not legally binding. Schumann’s mother would be first to legally claim the right to raise Tom, followed by Schuman’s brother.

Ohio does not allow dual adoptions for same sex partnership.

“If we were legally married, we would never have had to do this,” Schumann said. “Eve by law would be Tom’s next of kin.”

They cannot file joint taxes, collect the others' social security if she dies. “And there’s no inheritance tax if we’re married and one of us dies," Prikryl said.

'More than a piece of paper'

The two want to see the Supreme Court permit same-sex marriage, which would allow gay couples to receive the same rights as heterosexual couples, but not because they want the world to know of their love and devotion. For Prikryl, it’s the rights and benefits—especially where their son is concerned—that’s important.

“I don’t give a crap who supports my relationship,” Prikryl said, noting that her sexual orientation doesn’t come up in day-to-day activities. “I don’t know why my relationship and status has anything to do with anyone else.  No law can change people’s perception.”

“Some people want the ceremony ... Tom wants the ceremony," Prikryl said. "But you’re not with someone for 11 years for the big, romantic wedding. This is more for the piece of paper.”