How people with Autism can be less impulsive

Being on the Autism Spectrum has social disadvantages such as failing to pick up social cues, speaking without a filter, angering people without knowing it - just to name a few. Action like these cause great friendships to end. I know this firsthand. I am on the Autism Spectrum, and my lack of tactrecently caused certain people to never have anything to do with me ever again. Although I completely understand why these friends came to these decisions, it never-the-less still hurts. Worse, I was unaware that I upset certain people. I do not plan to share what I did, but rather list 10 ways that people on the Autism Spectrum can control impulsivity.

Some current friends urged me to do that, not just so that it would help me prevent such tragedies from occurring in the future, but rather it was due to them getting sick and tired of me complaining about my recent friendships that ended.

I came up with a few solutions. I also interviewed a couple people on the Autism Spectrum and I found invaluable information on the Internet.

Here are ten suggestions

1 The first one pertains to how I controlled my impulsivity. In the past, what kept me from saying inappropriate things to certain people was fear. While groiwing up, I said some terrible things to one of my sisters, which to this day I still regret saying it. What made me stop altogether was that my father threatened to knock my teeth out, smash my face in and then make me wish that I had never been born. At the time, I was already scared of him and I truly believed that he would do those things to me without a second thought. As a result, I never insulted her like that again.

A more recent case was a woman I used to be friends with. I did some things that made her want nothing to do with me ever again. I was so upset that I still tried to get her on the phone. I still sent her text messages and emails even though she did not want to know that I was alive. What made me leave her alone was that one of her friends who was prodeucing and directing a documentary about me threatened to pull the plug on the project if I ever contacted her again. I am legally blind and I make documentaries, so this individual for the past two years was making a documentary about how I, a legally blind person on the Autism Spectrum, was able to make 10 successful documentaries. The idea of him terminating the project scared me more than my father ever did. For now on, I must be aware and somewhat nervous about saying the wrong tactless thing because that can make me lose additional friends. A way to prevent future friendships from ending is for me to tell people that I am on the Autism Spectrum and if I ever say anything tactless, they are to tell me immediately what I said to upset them. I would then never saysuch things to them ever again.

2 Trevor, who is one of my supervisors is on the Autism Spectrum. He often sounds angry at people when he is not upset with them in the least. His method of handling that problem, especially during working hours is that he thinks carefully about what words come out of his mouth. That is in addition to him making sure that when he speaks to people, he does not sound angry.

My friend Greg who is on the Autism Spectrum and who runs a support group for people on the spectrum, sent me a text listing several things that he does to control his impulsivity.

3 Greg wrote:

“Talk with someone you can trust to be vulnerable with where you can share touch challenges you are facing.”

4 Greg wrote:

“Have ten minutes where you do different stims to release anxious energy. (E.G. Stims can be pacing, flapping hands, or fidgeting.”

5 I personally found that mental and physical exercises calms me down.

6 I learned from friends that mediating is another method of controlling impulsivity. While meditating, I try to remind myself to think about what I plan to say. Sometimes when I get excited, I forget to do that. Meditation is a good reminder. Unfortunately, I sometimes found meditation to be problematic. Instead, I focus more on breathing than meditating. Meditation works for some people, but I often had difficulty with it because I worry about whether I am doing the meditating exercise correctly. Another thing that I don’t like about meditating is when I hear a voice give instructions. Even when the voice belongs to a woman with a lovely voice, I still find it exasperating. Therefore, I just lay down and breathe deeply without being given directions. I know that for many people, meditation is an invaluable relaxing tool, but not for me personally.

I found the following suggestions on this website:

https://www.google.com/search?q=For+individuals+with+autism%2C+managing+impulses+involves+a+combination+of+environmental+adjustments&rlz=1C1OPNX_enUS1115US1115&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCTMyOTJqMGoxNagCCLACAfEFKARwUiTtgT8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&udm=50&fbs=ADc_l-aN0CWEZBOHjofHoaMMDiKpmAsnXCN5UBx17opt8eaTX3SqAIL28VlYC3Yskfs1J1-hh4ccjKss-dVHo7btZbZKQXYBjqq8O-yeyPXRTzeEj3k-EINnuRHajdtPyGmCR7P9BsN_wxUkKSXdH7h94UuQMIYSJGtQ0PJ5xQKgrBDl9q0lul1cHSQGa7Lftv9e5KUggBjP5vmn_N0Z78YwNHoz97PoKw&ved=2ahUKEwjVq8HioMSTAxXKD1kFHRKHMNQQ0NsOegQIAxAB&aep=10&ntc=1&mstk=AUtExfCouLhsHtvla2v0c29GgvxOq4SOIyUzwBJD4Pwh0l_I5AQ72Q289vuFnQc31fts44_cAxql8L-ZFRhw_kvxnRLwAtKEM125sKPibDxF_Jb-HRzjwjwBNL6kHtNaLWuky0Ofj7iZZFWEZ9UvZCeYKWlioRIvOJtj9crbh104T7M8hbocbMB5XjfKahf3UWFxqolimL6CIv1XZKrn17AxERfCwTRCUz7Q6jR9Tonmj-ZLB_a601x1pwG22MzT6PctB_uDCQxTcCEWOaFAOkZIJUkYlT0jDDfDyRqdGiFVXYJs5zDVyVzM5QH9bZUGnn-KpNFkdaOxVjbnkQ&csuir=1&mtid=e6jIaYXVMtut5NoP-s20qQs

7 Establish predictable routines. Create a consistent daily schedule to reduce the anxiety and uncertainty that often trigger impulsive reactions. Keep a journal or log to track what specifically leads to impulsive acts—such as fatigue, loud noises, or hunger—to proactively avoid or manage those triggers.

8 Identify personal triggers. Keep a journal or track what specifically leads to impulsive acts—such as fatigue, loud noises, or hunger—to proactively avoid or manage those triggers.

9 Use the stop, think do method. Practice this cognitive routine to consciously evaluate an impulse, Consider the consequences, and choose a healthier action.

10 For me, listening to a recorded book calms me down. I can easily stop worrying about whether or not I did and said the wrong thing. I can just be present with the reader’s voice. Calmness controls impulsivity.

These are ten ways that a person on the Autism Spectrum can think before speaking.