Ten Years and 2,753 People Gone

It has been 10 years since the 9/11 attacks, and even now, I am still unsure of what to make of that day. I was a freshman at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown, just a few miles from the field in Stonycreek Township, PA, that claimed the lives of 40 people—40 brave souls who decided that they would not go down without a fight and selflessly gave their lives to spare the lives of others.

Flight 93 flew over my campus. It was not until almost an hour after the North Tower of the World Trade Center collapsed that I even knew that something had happened. I went to my 8 a.m. algebra class and then went back to bed, as I did every Tuesday. Around 11:30 a.m., my roommate and I awoke to the sound of the girls from across the hall frantically pounding on our door, screaming our names.

We begrudgingly opened the door, angry that our usual Tuesday sleepfest was being cut short by at least a half-hour. The girls told us that America was under attack and to turn on the TV. We stood, frozen in terror, as the first thing that we saw was footage of a plane slamming into the World Trade Center.

I ran out of my room to the common area upstairs. Dozens were gathered around the TV, some crying, some silent, some angry. All I wanted to do was talk to my mom. Someone handed me one of the few cell phones on campus, but I could not get through. The Internet was down, the phone lines were down and any student lucky enough to have their own cell phone could not use it.

Everything was a blur. We all knew our lives would never be the same. I will never forget Bill, Kristen and Matt, who I spent most of my day with, just talking and reflecting and wondering what would happen. (I still have a photograph of Kristen and I at my desk; though, we have long lost touch.)

Our country was so united that day and in the months to follow. But 10 years have passed. Ten years of war, petty politics, corruption and greed. Ten years of complacency piled onto intolerance for others. What do we have left? Are we the proud Americans that rallied behind President Bush as he stood on a pile of rubble with a bullhorn and his arm around a New York City firefighter? Are we still the people who shed tears and sing our national anthem loud and proud? Are we still the same nation of people who cheer for our troops when they return from their tours of duty and hold parades for them when they return?

We are not.

Some of us, yes, but mostly, we are not. In 10 short years, we have become the opposite of what we said we would be. Prayer in public is the ultimate sin. Reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in schools is offensive. People protest at military funerals and call our fallen men and women “f--gots,” stating that God wanted them to die. We protest outside of U.S. Marines recruiting stations, insulting their very existence with harsh words and insults. We apologize to the world for being American.

I know that we didn’t get everything right after 9/11. Our thirst for vengeance in the wake of such a tragedy and our quest for closure and solace was not executed in the way that we imagined it would. But one thing I will never, EVER, do is apologize for being an American and being proud to be an American.

For all of the mistakes, for all of the bad publicity, for all of the bad policies and politics, for all of the bloodshed, I will not apologize.

I love my country, my fellow countrymen and my identity. I can honestly say that I am still the proud American that I was 10 years ago, even more so. Though our country looks vastly different as a culture than I ever imagined it would, I am still first and foremost an American. I am proud of my heritage. I am proud and grateful every day of my life for my freedom. I am proud of what my country symbolizes, even still to this day, to so many people.

We can still be that America. Every minute that passes is a minute that we have an opportunity to do the right thing, to make a better decision, to be a more dignified and more respectable nation. We can be that America that we were 10 years ago, and we can be better than that America that we were 10 years ago.

It is up to you to choose the right path.

To the families and friends of all of the innocent and brave lives lost directly or indirectly because of the 9/11 attacks, you are in my heart forever.