An Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I’d like to think I have been a pretty good state representative this year. I worked hard and didn’t raise anyone’s taxes, so I think I’ve done about as much as possible for a politician to stay off your naughty list. As such, I have put together my Christmas wish list for this year.

As you probably know, I recently welcomed a kitten into my home as a gift for my wonderful girlfriend. What you probably don’t know is that the kitten, otherwise known as Molly the Junkyard Cat, has systematically taken to torturing me and my dogs, Abigail and Delano. If you could bring us some variation of the system you and Mrs. Claus use to keep the elves in line so we can control Molly the Junkyard Cat, we would be eternally grateful.

I wish our political debate could be a little more civil. It seems as though legitimate debate about public policy at all levels of government, from federal all the way down to local townships, has been totally tossed aside in favor of sensationalism and personal attacks. While the public claims to detest such tactics, they are increasingly proving to be the easiest path for those who lack any real positive ideas or a desire to actually help people. We need to get back to raising public awareness on issues through informed debate, not through personal attacks, fear mongering and hypocrisy.

I’m not sure what the zoning situation is up in the North Pole, but unless you want a natural gas compressor station about 750 feet from your workshop, I would like any to keep the ability of municipalities to protect their residents. If you can get that done, I’ll draft an amendment providing for a tax credit for natural gas conversions of reindeer-driven sleighs. It’s a win-win.

I know Santa is not much of a policy wonk, but if you could figure out a way to come up with a standard scale for determining a ranking system for property valuation based on a stratified ratio with a real-time statewide database reporting system, it would go a very long way toward fixing the reassessment mess in Pennsylvania and really reform the property tax system. I know that’s a bit advanced, but maybe you could put some of your smarter elves to work?

I wish there were more random acts of kindness. Little gestures can go a long way to making a big impact, and I wish more people would take the time to do something nice for others. Just the other day, someone stopped me on the street and thanked me for helping them with an issue so many other people had ignored, but that my staff had handled with prompt professionalism.

I wish the legislative redistricting process had been a little less extreme and a lot more transparent. Along those lines, I hope you bring me a new pair of shoes for Christmas because I’m going to be knocking on a whole lot of doors in the next few months as I get to know my new areas. Could you maybe lend me your sleigh and a couple of reindeer to make the process go a bit quicker?

Finally, I wish every one of my constituents a safe and happy holiday with family and friends. If you can only give me one thing on this list, I think that would be the one to go with (but if you ask Abigail or Delano, they would certainly prefer help with Molly the Junkyard Cat).

Thank you and Merry Christmas,