Middle School Guidance Counselor Publishes Book

As a guidance counselor for 12 years, Lori Hedderman has a lot of experience helping young people deal with grief and loss.

When she had to watch her son’s friend say goodbye to his sick mother, though, she realized maybe there was some way to help parents and children who have to go through that painful process. 

Last month Hedderman, who works at Canonsburg Middle School, saw her newly published book, “Preparing Your Children for Goodbye: A Guidebook for Dying Parents,” go up for sale on Amazon. After two long years writing it, she said seeing it listed for sale was cause for celebration. 

Her son, Connor, 8, was excited too, although she said it may have more to do with him being featured on the cover — it's adorned with a picture of the two of them from his first visit to the beach as a toddler. 

Unfortunately, the day the book posted was a school night, so celebrating for Hedderman had to be put on hold. And while she said the publication of the book was exciting, writing it was often a very somber process. 

“It was a very big eye opener for me. I learned more than I ever wanted to know about end-of-life care," Hedderman said. 

The book is split into three sections. The first of these is a place for the dying parent to plan out what end-of-life care they want, as well as other final business. The second addresses how children grieve, and explains to a parent how to approach the subject with his kids. The final section is a workbook for the parent to share messages and memories with his children. 

While she said the workbook is a great tool, Hedderman said she realizes pages in a book can never fully express what a parent would want to share with their child. 

“There is no way you can put everything you want your child to know on those pages," Hedderman said. "It is a good way, though, to think about what you would want to tell your child on, say, their wedding day." 

She hopes the book — and the memories captured within — can be a lasting gift children can visit as they grow into adults to remember and celebrate their deceased mom or dad.  

The book was edited by Les Morgan, who is president of Growth House Inc., an organization out of San Francisco that works to provide information and support about death and dying.

Hedderman said that while her book is self-published through Create Space with Amazon, she said she wants to work with Morgan to market it so it gets in the hands of those who need it the most. 

For more information on the book, visit Amazon here.