From One Mom to Another

When it comes to being a parent, it takes all kinds.

We all have our moments of being too strict or too lenient, too stressed or too carefree. As mothers, we know how it is. Some days are blissful and others are downright hectic.

Most of the time, mothers are well-pulled together beacons of society. Other days, we are just crazy and deranged. As a mom, I can't judge. I understand that having kids means dealing with the precious moments and with the absolute disasters -- especially while shopping

Most moms will lend a sympathetic glance at the poor woman who is having an off day with her child at a store, but some can't fathom such an experience. You may encounter several types of these mothers in just one shopping trip.

My own shopping-mom style changes from day to day. One day I may be happily gliding my cart though the aisles, humming a tune, list in hand, with child securely buckled into her seat or obediently following along. There are no cell phones ringing, no children crying, and no stress. Life is retail heaven at this point.

How quickly things change.

My last shopping experience started smoothly enough. Soon after it began, my daughter Kailee got bored. That darn phone began to ring, and the list that once was my map to an easy shopping trip now was lost. Tension began to build in my shoulders.

Forget gliding through the aisles and checking out the new spring styles. I was attempting to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible. I was losing the patience I needed to deal with my daughter's whining because I said "no" to a new toy, and the only thing I could think was, “All I need to get are a few staples until I can get to the store on a better day.”

My blood pressure was rising, my temples were pounding and at this point, if your cart was in my way, you’d have been wise to move it.

Adding to my stress: my infuriating run-in with the “Perfect Mom.”

“Perfect Moms” are everywhere; in our grocery stores, malls and gyms, just to name a few places. They stand high above us regular moms in put-together wardrobes and made-up faces. Even on a bum day, these ladies have masterfully assembled an outfit that includes skin-tight sweat pants, and their hair looks like they just left the salon.

Perfect Mom is a sneaky character and must be watched carefully. While she may sweetly smile at you when your child sends a mannequin crashing down in view of everyone in the store, she also sends glances at her own shopping companions that signal, “Can't she control that thing?”

Even worse, while your little tornado is turning the store into his or her very own playground, Perfect Mommy's little precious is standing prim and proper, mimicking her every move.

Back at the store, I quickly dashed away, hoping for no encounters with anyone I know. Even though my child was still grumpy, she momentarily was silenced by a bag of Goldfish crackers and bottle of juice. I made my way to the checkout.

Flustered, I rooted through the pile of coupons I shoved into an envelope earlier in the week. I felt my temperature start to rise as my turn at the check-out counter came near and I still had coupons to find. Kailee again was getting antsy because her snack was dwindling, and I prayed to get out of the store before one of us had a temper tantrum.

Behind me was a lovely and delicate flower of a mother. As Kailee reached out and grabbed a candy bar from the rack of goodies and magazines within her reach, I snatched it out of her hand and impatiently said “no.”

Kailee responded by shrieking and crying. In line behind us, this gentle woman sweetly smiled. I knew she  was thinking, “Thank God that’s not me.”

Finally, I reached the register. Moments later, my purchases were bagged and we headed out the door. Nothing like tears to get a cashier to move fast ... from either Kailee or me.

There are many approaches to being a mother. As a mom, I cannot judge another. You never know what the other mom is going through. The mother who snaps at her child may have her reasons that day, as does the mother who shows a super-nurturing side.

Both have their own reasons, and that is their right.