Dating 101: Are You Spunky Enough for Spontaneity?

Spontaneity can be a hard thing to come by in any aspect of life.

We work diligently pursuing our goals in life, and we try to fit in some fun and excitement every now and then. However, at the end of the day, how much emphasis do we place on spontaneity in light of living in the moment? And, after we come off of our state of emotional bliss or discord based on love, how much does our impulsive yet fragile spirit dictate our need to rationalize—love?

Just as matters of the heart consist of their fervent highs and lows, one could surmise life requires us to be spunky and spontaneous. I certainly do think the two words can be used in tandem. When I ask my clients or friends how they would define spontaneity, their response is typically in the context of living life to the fullest and showing loved ones they care in the moment. However, I always imply that it takes spunk to do this. A part of residing in an emotional place of courage is realizing that all fearless decisions in love are based on those defining moments when an individual receives your love language and graciously rewards you with their love language in return. Ahh... Yes! The sublime exchange of affections is bliss. 

Ironically, I am usually asked, but isn’t love meant to be spontaneous? Yes, if you know your partner’s communication style and love language, the answer to this blog is easy to produce. Yet, it requires for others much deeper contemplation.

It is my hope that we all stand and fight for something through our love. Rather than list the depth of characteristics that one needs to be spontaneous and have courage in romantic pursuits, I prefer to write about why spontaneity should be consistent but highly revered in the heavenly realm of love. 

Just as anything in life, too much spontaneity and spunk can leave you out in the cold with no one to share your eggnog with by the fireplace for the upcoming holiday season. So, why do I give this philosophical background? It is important to note that striking a balance is key. For example, I designed an engagement proposal in a luxurious space using Fung Shui. While working on the design, the client and I agreed on exotic food and decorative items in their home that were a reflection of his true gift which was to continue to embrace change and compromise in their relationship. The end result was a design that expressed the client’s desire to keep things intriguing without going over the top.

We all can learn something from stepping outside of our comfort zone by expressing love in an innovative way. Thus, our perspective about what we perceive to need from love can develop.

I have counseled many whose romantic palates range from lavish gifts, trips, etc. to the more sentimental nuances of love adorned by small deeds of compassion like little love notes and special mementos. There is no right or wrong answer in our heart’s expression of love. Inevitably, I am always faced with the ultimate crossroad question for a relationship…How can we get our spark back? My response is the question put forth as the title of this blog. 

When an individual or couple deems it necessary to meet the challenge, the journey has just begun. Certainly, I realize that one must know their boundaries or limits to being audacious as well as weigh their pros and cons of their emotional and mental needs/wants to be completed by another.

A vital step to the question at hand is to know that the possibilities of romance are endless. We all make choices that lead to either successes or failures based on the best of our intentions in life—love is no exception. For those who cringe at the thought of being spontaneous, is here to assist you.