Love 101: Validation

Validation for most means to affirm/confirm one’s actions or beliefs. 

In the spirit of love and support, we often look for validation from our friends, family, bosses, and of course our significant other. Yet, how do we quantify what validation really means for us? Do we have any tangible measures to hold up our emotional and intellectual standards to this word? For some of my clients and friends, I have seen boundaries placed around what one’s needs or wants are in life based upon one simple word—trust. For others, it is the experience of past emotional hurts that gives light to an array of feelings that we deem to be positive or negative.

Of course, the positive experiences we wish to reinforce and the negative aspects of our journeys that we often times wish to forget intermingle in our minds. Thus, the love that we seek can become a quest to push and pull people to affirm us through life. 

However, this is not healthy? So, are you or someone else in your life the mirror of unconditional love and validation that you seek? And, how much time and patience do we allow for the truth to find us? In the end, validation is the confirmation of the essence of the truth that we deem to be necessary in the context of our current situation. This may cause our rational and irrational mind to have a dynamic battle of wits with others.

Personally, I believe that validation is not synonymous with someone agreeing with you. I often say that one does not have to agree with me, but I hope in the spirit of respect that one at least hears me with their heart and mind.

Regardless of the level of communication given in any conversation, I have learned to accept not taking life too seriously. Finding your own internal emotional path to your validation is key. As you can see from the numerous questions throughout my blog, I don’t have the exact answer. If you do, please let me know. Coincidently, for the past three months this one word has been the topic of several conversations with others about their love language and life. One piece of insight remains consistent for me. Validation begins in your own heart. Once you nurture the love and trust that you have for yourself you can better define how you wish to be seen, heard, and received. 

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