Midnight Premiere of Thor: Hammer Time

Comic enthusiasts poured into the Waterfront AMC Loew's tonight to see Marvel Studios newest release, "Thor." I never read Thor, the comic, so have only the film to go on.

I was expecting lots of costumed crazies, but there was only one: Helmet Guy in Theater 13, otherwise known as Tristan Katterson (see photo), who bought his helmet at Target. He and his raucous crew were pumped and ready for the film. "I'm gonna have a Thorgasm," gushed his co-hort Nico Veschio. I did hear the term "man crush" bandied about pretty regularly throughout the theater by men who had their female dates with them.

Up at the ticket booth, Loew's employees noted that the Omnimax 3D version of the film was outselling regular 3D and 2D, combined. I had not yet seen a 3D movie, so opted to do so this time, but found out after buying my ticket that perhaps I should have chosen differently. I don't like it. Fights confuse me that way.

Dean Brandt, owner of the Dreaming Ant independent video store in Bloomfield, was on hand with two friends. (The trio wore Marvel t-shirts.) They opted for the 2D version because Brandt read "Thor" was shot in 2D and only later adapted to 3D.

The biggest surprise in the crowd was not the number of obvious comic book geeks, or the lack of costumed people, but the number of women in the audience. I asked five women what had drawn them to the midnight premiere. Three were comic fans, one was a Hemsworth fan, and one "got dragged" there by others.

Presumably, the woman next to me was one of the latter, as she spent about a third of the film sleeping on my right shoulder, drooling and snoring loudly. In her bright yellow raincoat and glittery shoes, she had been talking before the movie about "The Notebook" being her favorite film of all time. "Thor" just might not have been her cup of tea. ;)

Moviegoer Chris Johns admitted that his significant other was a bit more excited. "My lady is having a lot of hammer envy. In fact, she'd like to hammer Chris Hemsworth."

I'll admit, the guy's nipples are something to behold in 3D, but his nostril flaring gets pretty alarming with extra depth involved. My favorite line in the film is, "For a crazy homeless person, he's pretty cut." Yes, he is, but not so cut that it distracted me from the lack of chemistry he has with Natalie Portman. There is no tongue in the kiss.

For a film so perfectly cast, they woefully underutilized Rene Russo. The performance I most enjoyed was that of Idris Elba, and I have got to hand it to Jaimie Alexander for doing the things she did in such ridiculously impractical shoes.

Those of you who play "spot Uncle Stan" won't have to wait too long; if you watch the credits carefully, you'll see that Stan Lee had his own stunt double this time. There is an Easter Egg after the credits, so, make sure you stay.

Make no mistake, there are very cool things to behold, such as The Destroyer, and some things done by Frost Giants. However, much of what I was seeing didn't strike me as original as I wanted it to be. Jotunheim was right out of World of Warcraft, the villain looked just like Tim Curry in "Legend," and as far as Loki is concerned, I'd be pissed off too if I had big plastic insect antennas on my head.

As for Kenneth Branagh's direction, I was confused by some of his camera choices, as several shots happen from odd angles without any reason I could understand. I believe he evoked family drama very well, but back on earth, there was not the same level of intensity at all. Everyone on earth seemed purposeless and cardboard, pretty much standing around waiting for a fight to break out.

Overall, the movie is a decent time, which I found to have equal parts good and bad in it.

As this is the first current release I've reviewed here, my scale is:

1. Pay full price, it's worth it.
2. A good value at matinee price.
3. Rent it.
4. Rent it for no more than a buck.
5. Not even worth a buck.

"Thor" would make a splendid matinee.