Eulogy for a Beagle

Fletcher the Dog (March 3, 2002 – August 15, 2011)

Not all family passages are happy ones. I’ve tried to keep this column a light look at family life, but sometimes darkness descends and there isn’t much anyone can do about it. By the time you read this, Fletcher will no longer be with us.

We knew on that April day in 2002, picking out our new 6-week-old beagle puppy, this day would someday come, and it seemed forever away. and other places about the love/hate relationship I’ve shared with this creature over the years. I’m here to tell you today, realizing what’s going to happen at that veterinary appointment on Monday evening, that tears are falling and I’m surprised to say there is nothing but love left.

We have awesome memories, like chasing our “Mad Dog” around and around the huge pine tree in the churchyard of the , before they cut it down. Or the time I heard barking coming from the dishwasher, only to realize Fletcher had climbed in there to lick off dirty dishes, and the door had swung shut. Or the time our oldest son, then age five, threw him off his bed because he thought the puppy would flap his ears and fly around the room like “Dumbo.” Or the time we took him over to my in-laws to play with their dog and he spent the whole time trying to hump the other dog, or how Fletcher got kicked out of CCAC’s Puppy Kindergarten. There was the time I got tipsy on the kids’ first day of school and put the dog in the baby walker, just for fun.

There were all those times the boys strapped their Poke-Walkers to the dog. Or all the times we had “Doggy Sing Along” where we all sat around and howled together for no particular reason, or the time he got out and I saved him from an oncoming PAT bus. Or the time our youngest decided to try to ride him, put one leg over, and fell all the way sideways. Or the crazy way Fletcher would run around after a bath (which our youngest, as a toddler, referred to as “Chetcher going Roadie-Roadie-Road”). A hundred of these stories have enriched our lives for the better part of 10 years, and after Monday, those, pictures, and an empty collar are all we’ll have left.

Everyone at our house is crying, because we know there isn’t anything else we can do. His hip dysplasia has reached the point where we have to carry him upstairs or down, carry him outside and back in, hand feed him (and he isn’t eating). The worst part is having this animal still give us kisses, still wag his tail, and still look at us with those big brown eyes, knowing what we know about that veterinary appointment. He may have caused mischief, but he has loved every one of us.  

Death is a part of life, and it’s a struggle to see my children hurting so much and to know there’s nothing I can do to ease their pain over this. It’s not an easy thing, but an important one. We just have to help them through it and cry right along with them. I’ve been asking them whether they’d trade all the happy Fletcher stories away for a life where we’d never known him at all, and the unanimous answer is that we’d still rather have had our fuzzy brother, even knowing there would someday be goodbye. And about that…how do you say goodbye to a pet who’s been with you its whole life, and who has become such a part of yours?

My husband and I know that we will both take him to the vet, but have not decided yet whether we are able to be with him as it happens. It will feel so wrong to have to sign a form, requesting the euthanization of our dog. We know the kids should stay home, and are not looking forward at all to watching them say goodbye to their friend. Our older two kids have known the dog for almost 10 years (our daughter is taking this the hardest), and our youngest has known Fletcher his whole life. I’ve already asked my boss for Tuesday off, and told our son’s second grade teacher why he won’t be in school. My husband’s birthday is close enough to Monday that it will be absolutely spoiled this year. Our family will be a mess for a little while.

There will probably be another dog someday, but, we need to grieve a while and get our bearings a bit. The new dog will not be a beagle, but something smarter and more portable. I had always thought this would be because of various issues we faced with having a beagle.

Now I realize it’s really because Fletcher was irreplaceable.