Tuesday, August 04, 2015
Today I am grateful for adrenalin. Adrenalin is what has me up before 7 a.m. and writing. That’s the good news. The bad news is I came within two seconds of smashing my phone against a wall.
Last night just as I was settling into cozy clean sheets after a long day, at almost 11 o’clock at night, the phone rang. My heart stops. This scares the crap out of me because no one calls me late at night unless it’s bad news. With kids scattered everywhere and an 88 year-old mom, you just never know.
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I can’t see the caller ID without my glasses so I grab it on the second ring. I’m a little panicky. I also don’t want to miss an opportunity. Maybe it’s the editor of Doubleday working overtime, calling about a billion dollar contract. Or maybe Oprah can’t wait to tell me what kind of new car she’s giving me. Or maybe Ronny Howard is following my blog and is hoping to direct something I wrote so we can all win Oscars. Believe me, you don’t want to be in my brain. Is it any of those things? Nope. Beep. . .beep. . .beep! A fax? At 11 o’clock at night? Seriously?
After two more calls which Mr. No-Hearing-Aids-at-Night sleeps through, it stops. Grrrr! Until 6:30 a.m.! Beep. . .beep. . .beep! Really? Is this thing on automatic redial? Probably. My blood pressure is making itself known. I slam the phone down because even though I had already hung up on it by pushing the button, slamming seems to help. Me.
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Curled back up for another hour or so of snooze time, I am just nodding off, which never happens for me, when. . . Bahriiiinnnnggg! This phone is like a fussy baby who somehow seems to know the exact moment you shut your eyes and relax after tucking them back in. Unlike the baby. . .I ignore it. For four whole rings. Eternity. Until the answering machine picks up.
Then I lie there. . . waiting. . .waiting. . . waiting. No call back. Swell. But by then the corpuscles are shooting through my limbs, my jaw is tight and smoke is shooting out of my ears. Further sleep is impossible. Isn’t adrenalin great? Good morning! For you anyway! And Mr. Sleeps-Though-It!
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