Adventures in Meditation

Meditation has always been a subject of interest for me.  Anything that can help me become a more productive person,  I’m willing to give it a try.  For weeks I’d seen some advertisements around town for a local meditation center that offered free lessons.  It was a sunny Saturday when I had spotted the ad for the 100th time. Reading it over I see the time of the next session, which turns out to be 2:30pm Saturday. It’s now 2:00 and the center is only a few minutes away.
Rushing home I advise my lovely bride of my plan to check out the free session intending to experience this meditation on my own. However, she had other ideas and insisted that the entire family experience the session.  
The center was located in a small strip mall in town.  There was no view into the center so I had no idea what I was walking into.  Have you ever had that feeling when you walk into a room, where your inner voice screams “Turn around and run!”  Yep, that’s the feeling I got the minute we walked in.  But I was in the door, past the point of no return.  An Indian lady, dressed in casual American clothing welcomed myself and the family.  I was trapped.  She quickly introduced me to another individual who was dressed similarly. I didn’t get their names because at this point the only thing blazing through my head is how I’m getting out of there.  
They advise me children under 12 are not involved in the group meditation and quickly whisk my daughter, (who is 10) away to their play area, which is a door in the rear of the center.  Commence shitting bricks. Now I’m wondering if this is a cult.  I glanced around at the other individuals in the center, which was packed with people from all walks of life. Now my brain is in over drive, I need an escape plan.  Suddenly one of the people I was introduced to booms from he front of the room and requests we take our seats to begin the meditation.  
My wife, son and I reluctantly take our seats near the middle of the room.  The chairs are set up in an auditorium style, with an aisle down the middle.  I needed an aisle seat, I was planning our escape.  They dim the lights and suddenly a light chanting music begins. The guru then instructs us to close our eyes and then begins relaxation instructions, Starting with your feet, moving up through your legs to your abdomen, chest and so forth, all the way to your head.  This part was decent, and relaxing.  He also encouraged us to clear our minds, (which at this point is impossible for me since I’m plotting our escape).  After a few moments of silence he began to encourage his more senior members to feel free to move about the room, and share energy. Share energy?  What the crap does that mean?  Eyes closed my sense of hearing was elevated, I could hear people moving around, chanting, repeating mantras and such.  But something was off, I could feel this energy exchange, as in someone bumping against me in my seat, a lot. I was terrified to open my eyes.  Finally I mustered up the courage to just crack my eye open enough to see what was going on.  It was jaw dropping, people were dancing, (and I use that term loosely) around others, throwing imaginary objects on some, sprinkling air on my son. One guy looked like he was polishing his counterparts face with a sham-wow.  Yep I had to roll.  I tapped my son who tapped my wife, and with a head nod, we made a run for it.  I quickly ran back, grabbed my daughter from the play area and ran out the door.  Ran, literally.  I can’t pinpoint what it was that gave me the willys about that center.  Some friends have said I didn’t give the center a chance.  I know I want to learn meditation, but not that meditation. I’m still in search of a meditation technique that will help me have clarity, and calm.  With the hectic pace of life, it’s nice to have something like meditation to strengthen your character.  If any of my readers know of a decent book on meditation, or practice themselves, please contact me and let me know how it has worked or not worked for you.