Sunday, May 25, 2014
Today I am grateful for crab legs. I love them. I know a lot of people don’t like to bother fighting with their food before they eat it, but I figure I burn off calories just cracking them out of their shells, so I’m good with it.
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We went to the Chines Buffet late yesterday afternoon. My husband doesn’t like Chinese food, but he sat there, eating his slice of ham, mashed potatoes and forty buckets of chocolate pudding. I brought wine. I’m not an idiot.
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To have him sit while I attack plate after plate of reluctant-to-expose-their-meat crab legs is a commitment that isn’t in the marriage vows, but should be. Did I mention I brought wine? It helps.
The truth is that I haven’t been to a Chinese Buffet in maybe a year, since my favorite one closed. I’ve had Chinese food, but not at a buffet. Good thing. I can’t be trusted. They are probably changing their locks or putting signs up banning me for life. My eyes dilate, my heart palpitates, all thoughts of vegetables rocket out the window. That’s probably how some people struggling with alcohol would describe being in a bar. I know it. That’s why I hit the crab legs, which are probably the best choice, even with a little butter.
I don’t know the scientific reason why sometimes those little suckers come out of the shells easily and other times you need a crowbar, but last night was crowbar night. I got so exhausted, I had to try other items just to rest. That’s my story. Got it? The great thing is that there are so many bite-sized choices. A stuffed mushroom; a couple of pieces of sushi; that amazing seafood muffin thing; crab Rangoon; a sparerib; a bite of General Tso’s (who was he, anyway?); a French fry; a piece of fish; and on and on, you name it. I didn’t take a lot of any one thing which satisfied me to my rapidly filling up toes. I also didn’t think about Weight Watcher points. Obviously. My calculator doesn’t run that high.
Like Tom Hanks after he got off the island and was passing by the buffet full of crab legs, I don’t even want to look at one today. Probably not for a long time, but I sure am grateful I know where to get ‘em when I gotta have ‘em.
