Karate

Today I am grateful for karate.  Did I join a class?  Do I stand on one leg at the gas pump, like a demented Flamingo, practicing balance? Am I running through Dollar Stores karate chopping the piles of dried Ramen noodles?  Will you see me kicking the crap out of stacks of lumber in Home Depot?  Will I be walking through the mall, sweeping my hands in front of me, muttering, “Wax on.  Wax off.  Wax on.  Wax off.”?  Will Miyagi trail behind me at Costco muttering, “Breathe. In-through-nose.  Out-through-mouth.  Breathe.”?  Do I have a black belt, white belt or a waist that can wear any belt?  What do you think? 

Nope.  I’m a karate master alright. . .but it’s in my safe zone. . .the pool.  I really get into it when we do the set with the karate moves.  Back-kick right, back-kick left, knee up. . .”HUH”!  Back-kick, back-kick, knee-up, “HUH”!  I love it. 

Fingers curled into fists in front of my face, elbows close, eyes fixed on a spot on the wall in front of me, concentrating, balancing in the water. . . kick front. . .fast. . .hard. . .push with the heel.  Left-HUH!  Right-HUH!  Left-HUH!  Right-HUH!. . .eight times.  “Breathe.  In-through-nose.  Out-through-mouth.  Wax-on.  Wax-off.”

To the side. . .Left-HUH!  Right-HUH. . . . .I hold my fists like the karate kid, eyes focusing on a spot on the far left wall, then shifting suddenly to the far right wall. HUH!  HUH!  HUH!  HUH!  “Breathe.”  When I first did this routine, I imagined a few nasty people on the ends of those kicks.  It was cathartic. But I’m over that.  Most days.  Now it’s just fun.  I feel strong.  Empowered.  Miyagi says, “Whole life have a balance.”  How true.  How true.  I feel balanced.

I’m in a zone.  A Zen-like trance surrounds me as thoroughly as the water that supports my kicks.  “HUH!  HUH!  HUH!”  I’m really into it!  Hearing my own Sensei.  In my peripheral vision I see some of the women in class looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.  I’m used to it.  Remember. . . I love to JUMP. . . and I’m pretty vocal about that, too!

When it’s over I say, “Now I’m the Karate Kid!”  They laugh.  They laugh at/with me a lot.

I don’t care.  Their laughter helps me maintain balance in my life.  “Balance is key.  Balance GOOD!” says Miyagi, “Everything good!” I agree.  So I kick.  Hard.  Because if anyone knows karate, he does.  I love karate!   Just don’t ask me to try it on land!  Yet.