Leo. . .on Going Home

Monday, August 3, 2015

Today I am grateful that Leo will write his last missive called, “Going Home”. Here’s Leo.

Somethings up. I heard my mom talking on the speaker phone to the woman who always wants to brush me and I just know somethings up. I saw her gathering my toys, too. Why do humans do that? I just about get them scattered exactly where I can strategically reach them at any given moment and then they pick them up just because they tripped over them. Humans! I’ll never understand them.

Wait. There’s the phone again. Now that man is opening the garage door. What? What’s happening? SHE, that brushing woman, is looking out the front window. Click, click. The front door opens. In walks my MOM! My real, human MOM! (bounce, bounce, bounce-hop-hop-hop-wag-wag-wag-whimper-whine-cry-laugh-whimper) I did everything but pee on her shoe! My dad is here, too? Great! He’s trying to get a video of me being excited but I’m moving like a white whirling dervish! Soooo happy. And the brushing woman is doing a play-by-play. . .like she can talk for me!

Maybe I’m going home. But wait. They came in. Sat and talked for a little bit. Then ALL of them left! They left without the DOG. What is wrong with these people? I cried. Broke my heart. Then they came home so I had to twirl again. It’s exhausting. Wait. Mom and dad have suitcases and it looks like we’re all going upstairs. Bye-bye brushing fool. I’m sleeping with mom and dad tonight. Raspberries to you!

The next day we had a bunch of people over and I got some special treats, but then mom and dad left again. I kept looking at brushing woman but she just said, “You’ll be fine. They’ll be back.” What in the Hell does that mean? Sometimes even popcorn doesn’t help, buddy!

The brusher had folded up my bed, packed my food and toys and put them on a chair near the door before I got up the next morning. Somethings up. We all sat outside and gabbed and gabbed and I let the man who holds me for the brusher, pet me for a long time. He really likes that so I try to be patient with him.

Then I saw those blasted suitcases moving around through the house again, like mutant robots. Dad went out to the car with one. Then mom went out, too. Wait! Don’t forget the dog! Yoo-hoo! I’m still here! Wait. . .go to the door and stare it down. Nothing. Back to the window. Yoo-hoo! Mom! Dad! I’m still in here! Don’t leave me with these lunatics who make me play all the time! Come back! Come back! Go to the door. Sit hard. That always works. Stare harder! Back to the window! Whine. Cry. Whine. Fret. Worry.

Here they come! He has the halter! She has the leash! I’m going, too! Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m out the door like a blast from a cannon! The car! The car! Yea! They’re taking me in the car. Yippee! Bye-bye you two playing-treat-giving-brushing fools!

Maybe we’ll go to Dairy Queen on the way home! Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!!