Pride

Friday, May 16, 2014

Today I am grateful for pride.  When I was a child growing up I was taught to not brag or boast.  Pride was not allowed.  It was wrong to bring attention to yourself and in today’s words think you’re “all that”.  I must have heard “pride goeth before the fall” a billion times.  I don’t even know what that means, but I’m sure one of you will explain it to me.

There is a fine gold thread between being a pompous ass, full of pride and arrogance and being a healthy human being who is proud of themselves, their family, their accomplishments.  Self-esteem is much more necessary than I could have imagined.  Bragging and boasting is not.  It’s as irritating to listen to someone with absolutely no pride as it is to someone who is full of it.  Balance is the key.

I am often proud in big and small ways.  I’m proud of myself for putting it all out there with my writing.  It isn’t always easy to be as painfully exposed as I’ve made myself.  I’m proud of the truth that represents.  I’m also proud that I’ve tampered down my amazing ability to string curse words together, and instead I am using language that is at the very least PG.  Sometimes it feels a bit constipating so I might have to write a play or monologue soon just to let it fly a little. . .in someone else’s voice.

I’m proud of my husband who has spent months ruminating over a situation and then made a decision to best look out for himself.  I’m proud of our children and grandchildren, just like everyone else is.  I’m also proud of veritable strangers.  Sometimes I feel pride for someone like a heartprint.  Bing!  I’m proud!  I love when people surprise me.  I notice a kindness or gentle word towards someone who really needs it.

I no longer feel it’s wrong to feel pride.  I’m grateful for the personal work it took me to get to this point.  Be proud. . . you know what for, even if you won’t say.