Vocal Cords

Today I am grateful for vocal cords. . . and I wish mine were working properly!  It’s funny how you don’t know how much you take something for granted until you don’t have it anymore.

I lost my voice almost three weeks ago.  I thought it was from trying to be heard above the din when teaching swimming to the little ones.  Then I thought it might be acid reflux, which is very sexy.  Now I wonder if it’s because of the endoscopy I had done.  Whatever.  I’m quiet and that’s just weird.

It’s not totally gone, but each time I speak is a strain and I sound like a cartoon character.  I can’t raise my voice.  This does not work for me.  I know it might shock some of you (not) but I like to chat.  If I can’t chat in person, then I’ll chat on the phone.  I can’t chat on the phone because it’s too much of a strain to be heard and it gets worse.  I hate not chatting on the phone.  I hate laryngitis.  Yes, I’ve been to a few doctors, but the jury is still out on what’s causing this.

When you live in a house with a double hearing-aid wearer, you not only need a voice, but raising your voice is a necessity.  Our conversations these days are easy to dialogue.

Me:  (very softly.  Remember I have no damned voice!) Are we going to the store?

John: Shore?  Why would we go to the shore?

Me:   No, store.  Store. (trying not to strain)

John:  What’s at the shore?  (looking confused.)

Me:  (Shout-whispering) Store.  Store.  STORE! (voice cracks and disappears completely)

John: What?

Me:  What, what?

John:  I can’t hear what you’re saying. 

Me:  I know.  I have laryngitis.

John:  What? 

Me:  I lost my voice.

John:  I know.  I thought we were going shopping.

Me:  (sarcastic, unprintable response.)

I don’t remember ever even thinking about my vocal cords.  Now I wish I had a string in my neck like Chatty Cathy.  I will be very grateful when my laryngitis is over.  My husband, on the other hand, has enjoyed the “silence” more than he’d ever admit. I like to talk. Really a lot!  What?