Coming to a Town Near You Soon....

Tis time for the annual celebration of the famous filming of “The Blob” in beautiful downtown Phoenixville.  I don’t go.  I was there the night they captured that immortal scene of people screaming and streaming out of the good old Colonial Theater.  It interrupted our viewing the silent film version of “The Ten Commandments” by Cecile De Mille.   At ten, I was too young to be a participant and very unhappy with having to miss the ending of the movie. 

In 1980 I was doing stand-up comedy at the Beef-n-Beer across the street, challenging folks to recall that (at that time) long-ago event and pondering over how I “coulda been a contender” had my movie stardom taken off by being discovered with Steve McQueen via celluloid success as a tot.  Neither it nor my comedy career have gotten me anywhere near Hollywood.  Once a Malvern girl, always a Malvern girl, I suppose.

Upon review of media discussion of the “Blob Weekend” activities, as a mature old lady, I today pondered equally disturbing horrors occurring in neighboring Malvern and West Chester Boroughs.  After all, I am officially old enough to participate in these new films and have lived long and prospered (and perspired) suitably to be able to run off with a couple of screenplays:

The Flats that Ate Malvern:   Scene 1:  People running hysterically east and west on King Street from the dark and gloomy shadows induced by the new leviathan hulking over the south (formerly sunny) side of the street.  Running on foot because of the traffic snarls incurred by a stringent two-lane thoroughfare created in the 1800’s to accommodate horse and buggies, not the BMWs nor SUVs of the 2014s. 

West Chester-nado:  Scene 1:  Real estate developer/shark, heady on the impending sale of his Malvern Flats development, insists upon subjecting sister-borough to yet another proposed piece of mid-city oasis’ greenery and multi-leveled monstrosity previously promised to the screaming throng in Malvern, as part of a sacred quest to honor his late partner.

Studies show that people rather like to be scared.  Malvernites have already experienced their share; beware West Chester-terians, the screaming has only just begun.

I’m ready for my close up, Mr. Kahn.