The Daily Complaint: Driven to Distraction

Sometimes, I would just love to flash a little sign that says "Eyes on the Road" or "Hang Up" at drivers whose heads are bowed over their laps as they do dumb things with a smart phone (anything done with a phone is dumb if you're driving).  Of course, they wouldn't see my color-Sharpee-embellished creation exactly because their eyes are not on the road.

Fiddling and fumbling with gadgets is my No. 1 complaint about drivers.  It drives me to distraction.  No. 2 would have to be drivers who do not use their turn signal, or the "clicker" as I like to say.  A clicker alert is necessary before changing lanes or making a right or left turn, IN ANY SITUATION! How many times I've waited and waited to turn out of South Drive onto 413, only to see the oncoming car I'm waiting for turn off the road before they cross in front of me.  But I didn't know that because they didn't indicate the turn. Meanwhile, traffic picks up from the opposite direction and I've lost my chance to join the traffic. Next sign: Merge Fail.

Even if there's not a car in sight behind you, click anyway. Oncoming cars need to know your intentions. Click or die might be an apt sign. That's not a threat. It's a statement of potential truth. (And let me just issue a disclaimer here: I have been guilty of some of these very offenses. I won't say which on the grounds it might incriminate me and make me look just as foolish as those I'm currently ridiculing.)

And here's a sticky clicker situation. I inadvertently left my clicker clicking and nearly smashed a guy in oncoming traffic who started turning in front of me.  He thought I was turning off, not going straight, which would have made it clear for his turn.  Boy, was he mad. If he had a sign, it probably would have read: Dumb Click Chick! That was an accident, which, thankfully, didn't become an accident.  What I cannot abide is drivers who just don't bother. Is it really too much trouble to flip the clicker before you tip the steering wheel? (maybe another good card: Flip before you Tip....maybe not).

And I don't like being sanctioned because I do use my clicker. Did you ever flip your turn signal before changing to the next lane and a car in that lane, but several car lengths back, suddenly speeds up, desperate to close the distance and deny you the space?  Are you kidding me, driver?  My next sign: --> That's just rude.

In a video game—Wii or otherwise—all of our attention is riveted on the screen, our fingers at the ready on the toggle switch or control wheel. That's how we should drive...riveted to the scene before us. Just don't jump up and down when you make a good move.

When my Dad used to get cut off on the road, either by a non-clicker or a speeder-upper-when-they-see-your-clicker, he'd say, "That's nice. No note, no card, no nothing." The idea was that the driver's behavior was discourteous. They didn't think about the other drivers on the road, only themselves and their destination.  Nowadays, there are more and more drivers not even thinking about their desination. They're reviewing incoming email, texts, and chatting on the phone, all of which increase the odds that they may not arrive at their destination.

Hands on the wheel. Eyes on the road. And let's add, a smile on your face. We don't want road rage. I find that if I smile when another driver does something supremely irritating while I'm driving, I remember that I may have done that exact thing myself (except for cutting off drivers changing lanes: I NEVER do that).

Just for the record, I'm not really going to use these signs on the road. It could be distracting to other drivers. I wouldn't want to cause any accidents. A final sign:  Let's all be careful out there.