The Daily Complaint: Forced to Pass Gas

This is not a blog about flatulence—although one could certainly say the topic is gas pains.  These are the kind of pains that stab me in the wallet as opposed to the gut.  These pains, sharp and consistent, compel me to sit tight in the driver seat until I see a sign on the horizon that will offer the same gasoline for less than the several gas stations just down the road from my house.

It’s not easy to pass gas until you find fiscal relief.  Depending where you live, gas prices are as varied and prolific as the stir-fry dishes slopped out in stainless steel bins you’ll find at one of those warehouse-sized Chinese buffet restaurants.  If fortune cookies were given out at the local borough pumps—they know they have you in their clutches because it’s more convenient to fill-up in the neighborhood—the fortune would read in simple Confucious fashion: You have been ripped off.

Why can gas be priced so differently from one corner to the next?  There’s a helpful article on MSN Money entitled “10 Things Gas Stations Won’t Tell You.”  Basically, it’s not necessarily the station’s fault.  They’re charged higher prices than the guy down the street based on location and competition.  The upshot is that it’s up to you to find the cheapest price in your area.  You can get some help online from GasPriceWatch.com and GasBuddy.com, both of which track pump prices by zip code.

I know from experience that if I pass gas in my own neighborhood (my eight-year-old son thinks that line was hysterical) because it’s over $3.70, I can get a price of about $3.40 in six or seven miles.  I have to rummage through my memory, plan out my trip to venture forth from the confines of the borough, and gauge whether the cost savings is canceled out by the time and distance traveled.  Usually, the answer is that it’s not.  In two tank loads alone—if I’m saving even 25 cents a gallon and my tank fills at 17 gallons—that’s (help me out here….) uh, $4.25 per tank.  That’s $8.50 in two petrol deposits.  I can use that saved money to buy two grande skim lattes with an extra shot at Starbucks.  (Just kidding.  I’ve sworn off Starbucks coffee (cups of coffee but not their beans; I’m addicted to Sumatra).

The Shell Station in town is helpful when I have to put air in my tires, but their price is $3.79 per gallon.  I always get great service at Kerrigan Sunoco on Washington, but it’s $3.69 per gallon. The Lukoil conveniently located smack in the middle of town is usually upwards of $3.71.

Let me save you the additional task of going online to find the best price.  I can assure you that you will get more gas bang for your buck (and I mean that metaphorically only, unless you also pick up the deep fried pork rinds at the convenience counter) in New Jersey.  Once a week, we have to head that way anyway, so we cross at Washington Crossing into New Jersey.  There’s a nondescript little independent gas station called Delta, just across from the sadly defunct and increasingly decrepit Flaherty’s on the Delaware, that comes in at $3.26, a good 43 cents a gallon cheaper than Newtown.  A bit north and you hit the BP Station for $3.30.

More locally, I can recommend BJ’s for gas, although you have to have a BJ’s member card.  I frequently go to the Northampton Township Library and the corner of Second-Street Pike and Route 332 has some good deals, both at the Sunoco ($3.41) and the Hess.  I heart Hess, which currently is $3.38 a gallon.  There’s another one, cheapest gas this side of the Delaware, at the intersection of Street Road and Second Street Pike ($3.33).  And it’s across the street from a Starbucks!

Route 1 in Langhorne is like the land of the black gold rush.  Gas stations beckon with cheap prices every eighth of a mile on a two-mile stretch. Caveat: Beware rush hour.  This road north to Bucks County (just level with the Pennsylvania Turnpike entrance) runs past Our Lady of Grace cemetery and if you get stuck in traffic on that stretch, you may as well be in the cemetery…you’re not going anywhere.

If you have a special little place where the air is sweet because you never pass the gas there, please share.  Safe driving!