My Journey with Autism Massage

“What’s different?” they asked me excitedly. I was sitting in one of the therapy rooms at my nephew Sean’s weekly Occupational and Speech therapy appointment as his therapists came over to me after wrapping up his sessions. It was my first time there so I didn’t know what to expect and what was normal. Sean seemed to be doing well, but I had nothing to compare it to. I was there because I wanted to go to help my mom who was sitting in the waiting room. Last week’s session never happened because the movie that was playing in the waiting room had sent Sean into a full-blown melt-down for some reason. It took all of my mom’s strength to try to calm this very tall and strong three-year-old and eventually get him back in the car to take him home after having to cancel his appointment.

With Sean’s parents both with full-time jobs, they relied on our extended family to help with the multitude of appointments. But this melt-down was even tougher for my mom than it was for Sean. She struggled just trying to calm him, let alone carry him. As a grandmother, it broke her heart to see Sean like that and realize there wasn’t much she could do to help him. She worried about the next appointment, and if Sean would even go into the building again and what she would do, so I volunteered to go with her to the next appointment to help out.

As a licensed massage therapist, I knew how calming massage can be and I had read that massage was being studied as an effective adjunct therapy for autism. So I sat with Sean in the backseat on the ride to his therapy session and I gave him a massage. Well, not a very good one because he was buckled into his car seat, but I did what I thought might calm and relax him. He was never touch-averse; in fact, he loves being snuggled! And thank goodness – he’s just too darn cute not to want to scoop him up and kiss and hug him every time you see his sweet face. My heart breaks for the families of children on the spectrum that struggle with the fear of touch. I can’t imagine how painful that is to not be able to hug your child.

So as I observed Sean’s therapy session that day, I remember just being relieved that there were no melt-downs- from Sean or my mom! That was progress enough. But when two of his therapists approached me to ask me what was different, I didn’t know what they meant. Did I do something wrong? Was I too engaged in his sessions? I tried to sit back and observe but he kept climbing up on my lap so I tried to follow the therapists’ lead to re-engage him.

Seeing the panic in my face, his OT and Speech practitioners quickly told me that it was a good thing. “He has never had a better session. Never been more engaged and on-task. He did great!” Relief swept over me, then pride. Of course I joked that it was because he loves his AJ (Aunt Judi) so that must be it. We laughed and they told me “You need to bring him every session then!”. It still never occurred to me that it might have been because of the massage. (I was still basking in the glory of being one of his favorite aunts!)

As we were gathering things together to get ready to leave I mentioned in passing that I was a massage therapist and I gave him a little massage on the way to the appointment. Both therapists stopped what they were doing and asked in unison “Really?”. I nodded, again afraid that maybe that was not a good thing to do before a therapy session. But then I noticed how excited they were. And how eager they were to give me tips and suggestions on how I could help Sean, like brushing techniques and joint compressions. And to keep giving him massages!

With a fire in my belly, I enrolled in classes to get my pediatric certification for massage as well as massage for autism and medically-compromised children. Knowing first-hand how massage can make a difference with the right delivery, as well as how differently it can be accepted by someone on the autism spectrum fueled me. I decided to focus on one specialty only: autism.

I have had the cutest clients in the world. Some sensory-seekers (they love to be touched) and some who were more fearful of touch. I have been blessed to experience some of their first words, first eye contact, first time they allowed touch without screaming, and more incredible milestones. All while their amazing parents sat on the sidelines and watched their child form these bonds with a “stranger”. And I felt their tears and heartache.

Now, with four incredible years of experience working with people of all ages on the spectrum, I am beyond excited to launch my new program training parents. Since most of the techniques I use can be done by without a massage license, why not let the parents form these bonds? The parents who sacrifice so much by taking their child from one therapy appointment to another, and then have to sit on the sidelines and observe.

There’s another huge reason for including the parents or caregivers in this: routine. If you know anything about autism, you know the importance of routine. Since I can’t be in the home of all of my clients at bedtime, I can offer the next best thing. Or, quite frankly, an even better thing- YOU. You as the autism parent/caregiver to fulfill this daily bedtime routine.

Providing a parent-led, daily massage routine is showing incredible benefits, my favorite of which, I must admit, is the parent-child bonding. Add the dozens of other benefits and you can’t go wrong. For 15 minutes every night, it’s as therapeutic for the parent as it is for the child. And who can ask for more than that?

PS – a couple of weeks ago, my extended family was all together for dinner. When it was time for Sean, now 7, to leave and give goodbye kisses, he came up to me and took my hand, encouraging me to sit down on the floor with him. I complied and watched him as he lay down on his belly, arms by his side. Still struggling with verbal communication, his body language told me everything I needed to know: ‘I want a massage first!’.

Learn more about Autism Touch Therapy and scheduled classes at www.autismtouchtherapy.com.