Camera Shy

Last month I went to a funeral for the mother of one of my husband’s closest friends, Ben.  I did not know Ben’s mother—I had only briefly met her once at her son’s wedding years ago.  And to be honest, I don’t know Ben all that well either.  He and my husband worked together at one time and have both moved on to different industries.  We like to get together a few times a year… let the kids play, have some food and drink… but these get-togethers are certainly not frequent and rarely involve discussing our extended families.  Still I went to the funeral to support Ben and his family.

When we got to the funeral, I noticed many people congregated at the front of the church.  They were not “paying respect”… they were looking at photos.  HUGE poster boards FULL of pictures—pictures of Ben’s mother, Ginny, when she was young growing up in Vietnam; pictures of his mother and father after she had immigrated to the US after the war; some wedding and birthday photos; and tons of pictures of Ginny and her only child, Ben.

I cannot tell you how moved I was by these photo boards.  I felt like I was witness to a glimpse of Ginny’s life and the joyous moments that she grabbed with both hands.  But what really struck me was the sheer number of pictures of her and her son.  The immense joy on her face in these photos was undeniable.  It really got me thinking.

I hate having my picture taken.  Hate it!!!  And I know there are many women like me.  I shy away from the camera, or strategically volunteer to take the group shots.  I am the person taking the family pictures on vacation.  The downside of this, of course, is that I am not IN these pictures.  Sure, I have the pictures of myself after the birth of my children.  I have the yearly family photo that my mother-in-law demands of us in front of her fireplace each Christmas.  But what I don’t have are the photos of me dancing with my daughter, or reading to my son.  There are no photos of me watching my children with a tear in my eye.  There are no photos of me walking hand in hand with my kids down the beach.

I have made a new commitment.  I am no longer running from the lens.  My husband will be asked to take some photos now and then.  I will not worry about my hair, or how fat I am.  I will no longer take my mother’s camera and delete the “bad” photos of myself.  I want my children to have pictures of me.  I want them to see how happy they make me.  I want my children to have these pictures to show their children.  I do not want to deny my kids those records of their childhoods with BOTH their parents.

So look through your photo albums and scrapbooks.  Are you missing in action like me???  I promise you that your children won’t be looking back 30 years from now and commenting on your hair (unless perms come back into fashion).  They will be thinking of how great their childhood was, and what a fantastic mommy you are!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Heather Wilson

Mommy to Cady (5) and Luke (2… almost!)