Amazon's Alexa Nothing To Be Alarmed Over

Some people think Alexa just needs an engineering upgrade. Others believe Amazon’s vocal assistant needs an exorcist.

People are piling on in regard to the disembodied feminine voice of various Amazon devices. That’s unfortunate, because the defenseless Alexa can’t fight back. All it can do is secretly record your conversations and send them randomly to people on your contacts list or perhaps intentionally to your mother-in-law.

The former recently happened to a couple with an Amazon Echo in Portland, Oregon. A woman told a reporter from KIRO-TV that she and her husband received a phone call from one of her husband’s employees saying she had just received a strange voice recording of them.

Thankfully, the conversation innocently centered around hardwood floors instead of, say, the employee’s poor work ethic or chronic halitosis. But the couple was unnerved enough to contact Amazon about Alexa perhaps displaying too much initiative.

Lost in the mass hysteria over this privacy-shattering occurrence is Amazon’s perfectly plausible explanation as to how it probably occurred.

In a statement, the company explained that Echo woke up due to a word in background conversation sounding like ‘Alexa’ and mistakenly heard “send message” instead of “We should refinish the hardwood floors.”

At that point, Alexa asked to whom the message should be sent and apparently mistook “Ipswich Pine stain” for “Dolores Schreckengost.” The couple apparently was too engrossed in the stain discussion to realize they had inadvertently asked Alexa to contact Schreckengost, or whatever the woman’s name happened to be.

Why are people so alarmed over something so easily explainable? Perhaps because just two months ago, reports surfaced that Alexa would inexplicably laugh unprompted - when she wasn’t providing people with names of local funeral homes and cemeteries without being asked.

But are those things really big deals?

Who among us hasn’t chortled when recalling life’s humorous moments, especially when doing so voyeuristically? Who among us, especially characters in Stephen King novels, hasn’t provided people with unrequested reminders of their own mortality?

In no way is this defense of Alexa being offered because Pittsburgh is one of 20 finalist cities for Amazon HQ2. I just don’t agree with the guy at the tavern the other night who remarked, “I don’t care about the $50 billion investment or the 50,000 new jobs. I don’t want the company that manufactures that demonic shrew setting up shop in my city.”

If he owned an Echo, he wouldn’t feel that way. I have one and have no trepidation about using it.

Next time I want something from Alexa, I’m just going to go out to the backyard armed with a hammer, unlock the utility shed, take the tarp off of the cage, unlock it, unwrap the several layers of burlap in which the Echo is encased, carefully unscrew the vial of holy water sitting next to the lawn mower gasoline can and sprinkle several drops on the device.

Then, with the hammer menacingly positioned just inches above the Echo, I’m going to ask Alexa to order a pizza.

Eric Heyl is Patch’s Pittsburgh field editor. He can be reached at 412-334-4033 or Eric.Heyl@Patch.com.

Image via Shutterstock.

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