As I rearrange the deck furniture sipping my titanic coffee "Sanka", I regret sentencing all those lawyers to meet the director of a disaster of a love story at the bottom of the sea. Seeing that the real Quaker (Oats) Guy has received a makeover, complete with broader shoulders, extended neck and reduced poundage (the figure and the product?), I feel my chance of getting someone, like AIG (After I Go), to invest in my demise, er, "life settlement", is sunk.
Let me put it another way - the global Godfathers won't receive any life-insurance benefit if I get whacked. That's why it seems better for AIG and me to drop the case(s) altogether, in spite of the business being valued at $4 billion last year.
Yes, AIG has lost its "Death-Bet" team and Quaker Guy is seeing red.
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I thought I understood the importance of insurance as the unsinkable refuge in an ocean of liability for those cruising through life. I thought all the compartments, like home, disability and auto insurance, would keep me afloat should my life's vessel spring a leak. I even thought there was just one life jacket per passenger, not many of them with my name and future payback involved.
Dummy me - I didn't even know that the real Quaker Guy's name is "Larry" and that he's insured, these days, by PepsiCo Incorporated.
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Like many life settlement policies, however, investors are at a loss to explain the lack of death, ergo "death benefits", accruing in recent years. Some, like "Larry" himself who dates from 1877, refuse to die when science and medicine can bale them out of troubled waters.
What's that old wise saying: Water doesn't boil when it's being watched, which gets aggressive planners boiling mad. Maybe somebody needs a timeout in the arctic waters of the Atlantic?
Now that I realize that not all insurance is an assurance of care and continued well-being, I'm able to survive the inevitable sinking of Social Security. I just need to find somebody willing to pay me now for the SSI that I won't need or won't get later. After all, I eat my oats as well as recommend them!
