Don't Drink The Water

News Flash: This country of ours is about to experience the worst flooding since, well, ever. This will, of course, mean that we will not be able to drink the water without spending to boil or bottle it.

May I suggest, then, that we think outside of the tap - unless we're tapping a keg of beer. We all know that you can buy expensive German lager or English ale, but why not simply add mineral water to a cheaper beer and create what Germans call a 'radler'. Likewise, for a small fee per multi-use bottle, you can add 'bitters' of your own choosing to any beer that would make the Brits proud.

In a like vein (or liver), this could be done with wine coolers, spritzers and fizzes. Just add a splash of raspberry/currant liquor to any glass of white wine to intrigue your friends with a new old-cocktail-party fave called a "Kir"(pronounced 'keer'.) Might want to order/make your next "Stinger" with apple brandy as a way of showing your patriotism this July 4 holiday.

Since we won't be able to drink tap water without boiling it, why not try your cup of tea with a jigger of orange liquor which is, in the long run, cheaper than adding lemon or lime. The cheapest version, known as "Triple Sec", can also be added to pancake batter, as vanilla extract is no longer an inexpensive option.

Hey, let's not forget that some like it kicking - so try your next martini, manhattan and especially margarita with sliced jalapeno instead of olive, onion, cherry or twist.

Wow, I almost forgot that world-wide floods and droughts are going to affect the food supply as well. Please, please, please - do not spend money hording dated/perishable food that you don't have room to store. You can stock up, -style, on dry dog food which contains all needed daily nutrition as well as lots of honey, which is non-perishable.

And after several months of eating honey-flavored dog food, you're gonna need a drink!