Great Balls Of Fire

Welcome to the race for the presidency of the U.S.A. and to leading one nation under God's sun. Welcome to candidates talking out both sides of their mouths and sometimes out of a lower orifice. Welcome to candidates speaking to, what they would consider, foreign factions about the threat from foreign nations. Welcome to a forest that can't be seen because of all those damnable trees.

One such candidate speaking to one such foreign faction about a threat from foreign nations aired on a recent episode of "All Things Considered". Newt Gingrich told NPR he was concerned that countries like Iran and North Korea would detonate a nuclear weapon high in the atmosphere that would cause an EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) disruption of our nation's electrical-grid system. Metaphorically, this is a candidate who knows his trees, but turns a blind eye to the forest. Like water that seeks its own lower level, Newt apparently never gave a thought to another nuclear force capable, and likely according to many scientists' projections for 2012, of a similar but global catastrophe.

That great ball of fire we call "the sun" is actually a nuclear reactor capable of storming our galaxy, earth notwithstanding, with solar flares sure to trip your power-surge protectors. Energy companies are aware of the possibility that an extreme burst, an event that just recently happened though on the side of the sun not facing the earth at the time, could cripple energy systems worldwide. They're also aware that it will be some years before they have the ability to prevent the likely disaster.

"Earth to humans, earth to humans" - a disaster because it would include not being able to compute or telecommunicate. Great Balls Of Fire, exactly Jerry Lee! Somebody "call" the forestry department, with hands aside mouth, for the nuclear "forest" has trumped the nuclear "trees" as an even bigger threat to our way of life. Grab the sunscreen if you're heading to the hills; but gosh, there's a nice radioactive glow to the sky tonight.

Just as presidential campaigns are ransacked by personal, moral discrepancies so, it seems, campaign rhetoric is thwarted by culpable ignorance of forestry. The real question now for Mr. Gingrich to answer: If a candidate falls in the process of getting elected, does he make a sound in a forest he can't see for the trees?

Welcome to willful dis-solution of all things bold and beautiful that casts a witch's spell over you with only the eye of Newt.