Internet Flaming

Let me tell you my deepest, darkest secret that I have never told anyone face-to-face. Let me believe that you care about me as much as you care about anyone. Let me bare my soul, release my inhibitions, and throw caution to the wind.

Hey, look at me, I'm flaming on the Internet, confident the wind, to which I'm throwing all reservation, will spread my indiscretion far and wide.

I don't even get the right to name this fiasco. It's called the "online disinhibition effect" as given by John Suler of Rider University. But let me think for a moment...

The worst restaurant experience I have had was at the hands of flaming waitstaff. It involved service not only from persons who had come out of the closet as if on fire, but also those seething and smoldering over their own personal, relational pre-occupation.

The worst phone call and letter I've received contained TMI (Too Much Information). The worst bar scene and party was with brains marinated in alcohol that resulted in tasteless words and physical injury.

The worst section of the newspaper, for me, is the "Sound Off" column and the worst evaluation of school or work performance was done with anonymous peer reviews.

Whatever, right? Whatever happened to the challenge to be brave enough to say it to someone's face? Whatever became of sitting down with someone for an honest heart-to-heart talk? Is the only place to let off steam a cloudy steamroom? Or a support group wearing your first name on a tag?

No wonder we're bewitched by Internet Flaming and intrigued by anti-social networking.

In America, we're big on our right to free speech. We argue that we can say what we want to whomever we want. In reality, we fear our own and others' reactions. That's why it's easier and more tempting to air our grievances by phone call, letter, and even looking straight ahead in the car. Somehow, when we have to look at someone, especially the eyes as windows to the soul, we are helplessly incapable of dis-inhibition, so to say. 

I am having second thoughts, because the Internet does not have eyes for me. It has fists and a tongue, a mind and matters, and sometimes even foresight but not those baby blues that make me melt. That's it - I'd rather melt than flame, burn bright than hot, and keep my dignity, if not my reputation.

Don't be upset with me. I didn't go back on my word.

I just didn't trust my honor to the flaming Internet.