Spring training brings out the 'phanaticism in Phillies phans'. We phlip over cheesesteaks and Tastykakes and get phat. Some of us go to Phish concerts where we look for delicious ears of sweet corn.
Farming is the process by which the land gets worked and we get paid in produce. The prescription for fecund fields goes far beyond the trite assertion of your Lawn Doctor. Farming is both diagnostic and subject to patient treatments. I knew of farmers who took the temperature of the soil to determine planting season. Some even took samples of soil for taste testing. Attention to prepping, spacing and regulating treatments is key to the productive health of agriculture.
Ah, farming - America's lifeblood that netted $53 billion in 2000. Back-breaking work that can't compare to the back-and-neck prescription pharmaceuticals that brought in $300 billion last year.
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Our transition from farming to pharming is hardly genetically modified. We all need to eat, and doctors would have us believe that we all need to be treated as well. Popping pills, like popping corn, is today's version of sweet euphoria. Pharming is big business and the market is open all year round with drive-thru silos called pharmacies. Servings come in apple-red, squash-yellow and alfalfa-purple.
You can drink it, spray it and rub it all over your body, like a baby anxious for the high chair. And, with warnings to not operate machinery, it's the perfect way to weather any storm. Handy pill organizers make certain that you get a balanced diet of chemicals. Getting hungry between meals is satisfied by snacking on vitamin supplements.
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Name-brand or generic, on-line or street dispensed, milli or silly(placebo)grams - the harvest never disappoints. It's "Oliver" with a twist: "More meds, Doc?"
Sure, the price is high; but you're higher. Sure it's probably addictive; but you're starved. Sure, the reactions are dangerous; but so are trans-fats.
Oh well, it's time for a Phillies game. I think I'll have a cheesesteak and something for dessert. I can't wait to sink my teeth into a real belly-filler. But first, I better take that water pill so I don't get phat.
