'Red Flags are Red for a Reason' Springfield- A Long Way from 'Sex and the City'

I hope you were  somewhat entertained by my first post and have come back eagerly wanting to know what happens next!

Now that you've had a brief introduction in the first post we can get on to the juicy stuff. So as promised, we'll begin the journey starting with Ryan*.

"Red Flags are Red for a Reason"

I met Ryan* back in the summer of 2009. When he and I met, I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship with John* (remember the crazy ex? Which we'll discuss later). He broke up with me; I was more pissed-off than emotionally scorned.

Anyway, feeling like I had nothing to lose, I retreated to Wildwood, NJ for a weekend of sun and booze with my girlfriends. Never expecting to meet someone, let alone someone who would end up breaking my heart.

My friends and I decided to go to this one bar that had a large outside patio where there were tons of people and plenty of room to mingle. It was there he and I met.

It was you're typical movie moment, time stood still and he and I caught each-other's eyes and he slowly walked toward me. Okay, maybe time didn't stop, but it felt perfect. And for the longest time, was one of the hardest things to relive after we broke up. Especially when he had told me that the first thing he noticed about me was my smile (swoon.)

Anyhow, we hit it off instantly.  Discovered that we had a lot in common and only lived about 45min away from one another. My friends decided to head to another place down the street, so I told him to meet me there later and we exchanged numbers. I remember leaving thinking that I'd probably never see him again. But I was wrong.

He was with a group of friends as well and felt the need to stick with them. It wasn't until at 2 a.m. (bars in Jersey are open until 3) that he suddenly appeared. All by his lonesome.

Yet again, it seemed like another flawless moment. He just...appeared. We talked until closing time and then text-ed for the rest of the night.  Before passing out that night I thought to myself, "I'm probably never going to hear from this guy ever again."

Yet again, I was wrong. While driving home the next day, I heard from him! (Don't worry, I didn't text while driving, duhh). I remember feeling like a whole bucket of sunshine was poured over me.

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself or others that you're not "that" girl, every woman gets just a little bit excited when the proposition of a new man comes into play. So you're not fooling anyone :)

Ryan* and I talked every day for about two weeks through text and over the phone. He seemed like a really genuine guy, had a good job, was educated, reeeally cute, the whole list. So we planned our first date, and of course, it was perfect.

I remember being completely flustered before his arrival. I even called one of my friends who had also met him down the beach, to have her reassure me that he was a nice, good-looking guy. Since, that night met I may have been a little intoxicated (oops!)

Anyway, back to the date. It was great, complete with a good night kiss :)

So after that, Ryan* and I began to see each-other on a weekly basis. I met his parents and then he met mine. Things were falling into place.

He then asked me to accompany him to a family party with him one weekend. Where I would meet his entire family. I remember feeling a bit uneasy about it, since I had just wrapped up my relationship with John* not too long ago. I felt like maybe we were moving really quickly. But instead of speaking up, or following my instincts, I didn't do a thing.

Which, was definitely not a good idea. Honesty is the best policy right? DUHHH!

When it comes to a successful relationship you not only have to be honest with your partner but you ALWAYS need to be honest with yourself. In my opinion, that's how most damage is done. People who are not honest with themselves tend to never be honest with their partner, and then it all just breaks apart from there.

So, I kept it in. And before I knew it, Ryan* and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. Which wasn't bad, I was happy. REALLY happy. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Whenever people would ask me about Ryan* I always remember saying, "He's just a really, really, nice guy."

HA! Ask me about Ryan* now. Okay, well not yet, but soon!

I met his family. His parents were divorced but both really nice. He had two younger brothers whom he was really close with, and maybe... too close?

Well, ding! Here comes another red flag. Okay, okay. I am not saying that you can't be super duper tight with your siblings, because you certainly can, and that's great if you are buuut, if you're siblings tend to be the only friends that you have, that makes me nervous.

Weird thing was, that I was always talking about my friends and even had him meet a few. But, he never talked about any of his, and I certainly never met them. So who were the people that he was down the shore with? Friends of his brothers. It was just weird, and a bit off.  Yet, the second red flag I payed no attention to.

Despite my ignorance to the red flags, things were running smoothly. My parents liked him and really felt that things were on the road to being great. I was sure that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. He was constantly making comments about how happy he was, and how simple things were when the two of us were together, blah, blah, blah.

And then one day everything changed...

I'm going to leave you guys there for now. For fear I'd bore you more than I already have. I'm not going to wait a week this time. I'm sure you guys don't want to wait that long and I certainly don't either.

Keep Shining :)

-Lauren