Rather than put on the heater for these chilly nights of Spring, I think I'll pour myself some Brandi, as in Ms. Carlile's "That Wasn't Me". And while I'm at it, I'll reach for a good book from within myself. This 'book of my life' is an interesting read, if for no other reason than my failing memory.
Chapter one begins with my childish indiscretions. I see my truly loving older sister trying to get me to cooperate as I call her a bossy cow. I see lying, cheating and even stealing to get what I want. I see my brutal treatment of my younger sister that caused her to crash my Etch-A-Sketch (like a political hammer) over my head.
Nah, that wasn't me!
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Chapter two moves to puberty and more social forms of selfishness. I see my need to be loved before being respected. I see myself being willing to exclude others in order to be included in the clique at school. I see lying, cheating and even stealing to get who and what I want.
Nah, that wasn't me either!!
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Chapter three finds me grown and gone from the house more and more. I see my worried mother and aggravated father as pathetic parents of an up-and-coming trendsetter. I see lying, cheating and even stealing as the way to get ahead. I see that it's not what you know but who you know and placate that matters. I see drinking and smoking more and liking myself less.
Nah, that couldn't have been me!!!
Today I got out of bed to walk the dog that wrongly thinks I'm God Almighty. I fed and watered the cat that I'm allergic to while making sure that there's food in the fridge for someone else's road trip. I swear off lying, cheating and even stealing, and, swearing itself, now that I'm a Quaker. I make a date with a five-year-old girl to hear about her birthday. I take the risk of being the bossy cow by reminding someone of a financial obligation; and the bigger risk of saying "I love you", "Can I help", and "The hat is you" without any prompting or expectation.
I see a middle-aged man determined to live the remainder of his life for others rather than himself. I see every action now as a choice and every word as a decision for integrity. Excuse me, but I'm needed elsewhere now, well, now that would be me.
