Back to NEW school

Most kids have about a week of school under their belts. Parents are generally happy that the kids are back in a routine, minds are being stimulated and bed times are earlier.

In our house all of the above is true but we have also been going through "new school anxiety." For our boys, 2 and 4 years old, back to school has meant excitement and fun, as they are in a preschool that they are both familiar and comfortable with. Not so for our daughter, our oldest.  She started first grade at a new school this year and it has been less than an easy transition.  She is a sweet kid and an introvert by nature.  She says at breakfast that she is excited to go to school and when it is time to leave it has been teary.  She says that she plays alone on the playground and doesn't talk to anyone at lunch....my heart breaks when I think of her in these situations.

For the first few days as she got off the bus, I would give her a big hug and greet her with a smile and ask what she did at school. What did she learn and who did she play with at recess?  The answer kept coming back that she was excited about what she learned and all that she did but that she played by herself and had no friends. I focused on the last part because it made ME so sad to picture her standing alone. I gave her advice on how to start conversations, how to ask a child to play, etc. 

Then I had an epiphany: stop focusing on this one aspect of her new school. She is in a new place with all new people.  The friends will come. The ease of socializing will come with time as she grows more and more comfortable with her new surroundings.

So now when she gets off the bus, I ask her what the best part of her day was. What specials did she have, what questions did she ask, what did she learn, etc. I always ask if there is anything else she wants to talk about and the answer (for the last three days since I had this "ah-ha" moment) has been no. She has been happy going to school and happy coming home.  I am sure that there will be more tears and more "I don't want to go to school" in my house, but for now, if I focus on all the positive things her school has to offer I have to believe that rest will fall into place.