Boo! Scaring Away the Ghosts Of Life's Past

They say in order to successfully move forward in life, one must come to peaceful terms with ones past. Right now, I'm in the process of doing just that and it's become the most daunting of tasks, my life's mission really.

Forgiving our mistakes, particularly when one is "blessed" genetically with Jewish guilt, is not a one-step process. Somedays I'm harassed by ghosts of past errors...so much so that I'm thinking of holding a seance for my regrets and the roads not chosen.

Thankfully I've built myself a firm support system that I can call when another zombie rises from depths so dark within that I feel like succumbing to another world.  One by one, vampirically  sucking the positivity out from each mantra, I can easily reach for the nearest technology to bring me back to life, and into the calling of what my life has come to mean to me. And those around me.

I recently was introduced to Kabbalah. While a fervent student of all things Buddhism and Zen, this religion relies on ways to find the light within. As my friend explained, "it requires sitting in the dark, with just a flashlight on, until suddenly you're able to reach the lamp across the room."  Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to get up and turn that light on but, as I always say, there is no other choice.

Life is not easy. The past few weeks I've been punched and kicked incessantly. The hardest part is knowing these obstacles come as a consequence to the choices I've made. Recognizing accountability--owning up to it--is the first step. Knowing life is a series of reactions to our actions is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you feel as if each step is a mis-step.

That's when I call time out and let my mind breathe. We make decisions based on what we believe to be the best option...sometimes it's hard to look yonder and understand the potential effects of these choices. But once you allow yourself to believe in faith...and exonerate the spirit within...you can carry on.

There is no such thing as perfection. It is the series of following ones path that leads you further down the road...whatever road that may be. Sometimes the more you try, the more you fail--or gain better insight & experience for future happenings. But all things lead to whats meant to be. If we believe that the ultimate outcome is not really up to us ("G-d laughs as we plan",) then we can let go and ease up on ourselves. The most successful men & women don't get where they are by never risking or failing.  It's life, and it's meant to be lived...one crazy adventure at a time.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is absolutely nothing...just let go & be.