Fire Pit Fans Say Relax, But Neighbors Say Enough Is Enough: Block Talk

There’s something about gathering around a backyard fire on a crisp fall evening, swapping stories, sharing a few laughs and watching the flames dance. It’s all warm and cozy until the smoke drifts next door and neighborly relations go up in flames.

In an informal survey for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, many readers said they don’t mind occasional fires but draw the line at nightly burning, smoke entering homes, burning leaves or trash, or refusing a polite request.

“The onus is on you, not the downwind neighbor being smoked out,” said Ash, an Across America Patch reader. “I am downwind from several neighbors with fire pits and run around shutting my windows because their teen and young adult children are clueless.”

Ash endures the smoke.

“I hate it, but I have said nothing,” Ash said. “After a couple of years, they lose interest in their fire pit, and we remain friendly neighbors.”

An occasional weekend or other weekly fire would be a relief for Kara, who reads Levittown Patch, Bensalem Patch and other Pennsylvania Patch sites.

“We have neighbors who seem to be burning something nearly every day, all year long, and that is not OK,” Kara said. “We can’t really ever open our windows after 3-4 p.m. going into the overnight hours, and that's just too much smoke!”

She’s not sure if what they burn is even allowed.

“We never call any authorities over it; we just deal with it,” Kara said. “But houses are close together here, so I know it’s not just us dealing with it all the time.”

‘Enough Air To Share’

But the consensus was hardly unanimous.

“Everyone is allowed to do what they want in their own yard,” said Concord (New Hampshire) Patch reader Thuzzy. “If it’s bothering you, shut your windows.”

“Leave them alone to enjoy their fire,” said Ridgefield (Connecticut) Patch reader Michael. “This is such a Karen take on this ‘issue.’”

“You should be able to do whatever you want in your own back yard,” said Lisle (Illinois) Patch reader Mary. “There is enough air for all to share. Besides, who doesn’t love the smell of a bonfire?”

“Sit back and enjoy it. It is only temporary,” said Mid Hudson Valley (New York) Patch reader Marie. “I live in a neighborhood where there is always a fire pit going, and smells are wonderful, and no one complains. My parents live in a neighborhood where the neighbor is a dick, and no one can use one.”

‘Right To Clean Air’

Nashua (New Hampshire) Patch reader Mary wants to ask her neighbors this: “Do you really have to have one every night?”

Mary thinks more restrictions should apply to fire pits on small residential lots. “We’re on a less than half-acre lot,” she said. “Have some consideration.”

“There should absolutely be restrictions on this topic,” said Lynn, a Lower Southampton (Pennsylvania) Patch reader. “We have neighbors who light fires all the time. They go around their yard collecting sticks, twigs and leaves to burn, which smells awful! The smoke comes right in our house! Then, the majority of the time, they go back in their house and leave it burning. There should be rules on what you can burn and not to leave the fire unsupervised.”

Freeport (New York) Patch reader Pat is absolute.

“They should be outlawed,” Pat said. “Most people who have fire pits have no clue as to what they are doing to the air and the environment. When the fires in Canada were reaching Long Island and people were complaining about the smoke and bad air, that’s what it’s like to live next door to someone with a fire pit when it’s lit. I prefer to breathe fresh air, not smoky air.”

Most disputes over fire pits arise because houses are so close together in many neighborhoods, Minnesota Patch reader Sundown said.

“We live too close together now, and we have too many fires at one time now to enjoy fresh air,” Sundown said. “It’s like being in a forest fire. To be fair to everyone, we must be fair to all, which means no fires in neighborhoods. Go camping!”

John, another Minnesota Patch reader, agrees.

“A person’s right to clean air supersedes another’s desire to be cozy outside,” John said. “We don’t need these fires for survival (for warmth or to cook food).”

Fire Pits Are ‘Idiotic’

West Chester (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Cassandra is surprised that, “in this age of rapid climate change,” fire pits are still allowed.

“It’s idiotic,” Cassandra said. “We moved from a dry state, where fires were disastrous and burning anything outdoors was prohibited, to a wetter one back East where neighbors not only have fire pits but also frequently burn wood that has come down in storms, regardless of the wind speed or direction it’s blowing. We’ve had to put on masks when working outside because of the stench, and I can’t understand what they’re thinking. Is it because they don’t believe in science?”

“Personally, not only do I find the smell overwhelming, but the fact that many people, including myself, suffer from a lung condition, and breathing in the fine particles that the fire emits, makes it very difficult to breathe,” Haddonfield-Haddonfield Township (New Jersey) Patch reader Kathleen said. “I’ve never understood why fire pits are acceptable. If you want to sit around a cozy fire, install a fireplace.”

Doylestown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Sunshine, whose asthma means indoor fires aren’t an option, scoffed at the double standard, saying, “No one seems to mind when there are indoor fires, which also pollute and send the smell into the neighborhood.”

‘Too Many City Slickers’

The problem, said Medford (Massachusetts) Patch reader Dan, is “too many city slicker Karens who’ve never really lived, complaining about existing around other people.”

“Fire is natural. Neighbors should enjoy it or close their windows,” Dan said. “The fire goes out when the starter goes inside. Fire enjoyers should be quiet and respectful at the relaxed small fire.”

Violations of the unspoken code should be met with a friendly conversation, not an angry confrontation, some readers suggested.

“Talk with the neighbor and explain the situation. Tell them your house is filling with smoke and ask them to put out the fire,” said Brookfield (Wisconsin) Patch reader Steve. “A respectful neighbor will put the fire out immediately.”

That should clear the air. If it doesn’t, and the neighbor “repeatedly refuses to respect your health and welfare, contact the fire marshal,” Steve said.

‘Get To Know Your Neighbors’

Finding common ground on fire pit use while maintaining friendly neighbor relations comes down to understanding one another, some readers said.

“Bottom line,” Orlando (Florida) Patch reader Peter said, “get to know your neighbors!”

“Everyone loves a good campfire,” said Kevin, a Newtown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader. “Everyone should also be aware of which way the wind blows on most days in their neighborhood.”

He offered several practical tips for fire pit owners. If space allows, place the fire pit or ring farther from homes rather than directly on a patio or deck, and keep an eye on wind direction. And always burn dry wood, not green wood, leaves paper or “just anything that will burn.”

Also, he said, if a neighbor raises concerns, “be respectful.”

“Ask them what would help make it better. Maybe look for less windy days, maybe give them a heads-up, maybe don’t do it Every. Single. Night,” he said. “Being good neighbors takes both parties to cooperate.”

“Be a real neighbor. Mix up a batch of hot toddies or grab a favorite beverage for all and join them,” said Murrieta (California) Patch reader Mike.

“We should try our best to be respectful neighbors,” said La Grange (Illinois) Patch reader Lynda. “I would put the fire out immediately if neighbors were bothered by it. Or, if I see that their windows are open, then I probably wouldn’t start the fire to begin with. It’s not a big deal to me.”

A Lesson In Empathy

Catherine, a Greeneville (Tennessee) Patch AM reader, is OK with outdoor fires but said they should be extinguished by 9 o’clock at night.

“Nowadays, a lot of people never open their windows. But some of us low-income people have to open our windows at night because we can't afford to run the AC all day and all night, too,” Catherine said. “And a lot of us low-income people are also elderly, and we go to bed early.”

Catherine said she woke up several times this summer thinking that her house was on fire. The fans she had drawing the cooler outside air into the house also carried the smoke from her neighbor’s fire.

“I called the neighbors who had the fire going, and they were very nice about the whole situation,” she said. “They also let some other neighbors know about our conversation.”

Catherine added, “Kids used to be taught empathy by their parents. Now, parents are so busy, a lot of stuff goes by the wayside. Lots of people never think about how their actions affect others living nearby.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Block Talk” as the subject line.

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