How the Legal Proceedings Against the Fort Hood Mass Murderer Should Have Operated

Judge:  You stand accused of the murder of thirteen people and the wounding of thirty others.  How do you plead?

Defendant: Proudly guilty, Your Honor.

Judge:  What is your defense?

Defendant:  I have no defense, Your Honor, nor do I wish to pursue any court proceeding or appeal.  There is no mystery or unknown motive in my crimes, nothing to be gained from a trial.

Judge:  Why did you do it?

Defendant:  I switched sides; pledging allegiance to Allah required that I slaughter as many infidels in cold blood as I could.  This was my duty.

Judge:  Do you recognize how many lives you destroyed?

Defendant:  Yes, unlike your culture of life, I revere death and dispense it to those that I hate.  I telegraphed signals that I was about to embark on a violent rampage, but you stupid Americans were too intent on political correctness to act on it and to stop me.  I knew that would be the case.  I used your system of freedom and the American tenet of welcoming the foreign-born resident against you.

Judge:  There is no need to spend millions more dollars on you. I hereby sentence you to death, the only just punishment for someone so consumed with evil.  Executioner, take him away.  Sentence shall be imposed without delay.

Defendant:  Thank you, Your Honor.  Allahu Akbar!