Improving the Social Life of a Child With ASD

The following is the final of three articles on ASD submitted by the Bucks County Autism Support Coalition in recognition of Autism Awareness Month.

One concern often expressed by the parents of a child newly diagnosed with autism is, “Will my child learn how to make friends?” It can be heartbreaking for a parent to watch his or her child sitting on the edge of the playground while the other children play together with such ease.  

For some children, the act of making a friend is a simple thing, taken for granted. But for a child on the autism spectrum, approaching a peer, making eye contact, greeting that peer, maintaining a conversation and sustaining attention toward a common interest is often a complex process. These social skills are not taken for granted, they are the focus of much intervention during the school years for individuals with an autism spectrum disorder.

Early intervention teaching methods work on helping children to learn social rules and to develop and strengthen emotional reciprocity with parents and teachers. 

School-aged social skills lessons focus on the details of thinking and being social, breaking down the process into several steps. Social skills groups provide a place for students to practice what they have learned and to make connections with peers.

Speech therapists are often the best trained to provide direct social skills instruction and social workers often have training in facilitating social skills groups.

The goal of social skill instruction is for a student to generalize what he has learned in situations outside the classroom. This can be tricky because every single social situation is different and often so much of what is going on in a social setting is unsaid. 

We communicate much with facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and the use of slang. Sometimes it’s what is not mentioned in a conversation that communicates something important. These “hidden” rules are often the hardest to understand because sometimes they are particular to a person and place.

In order to provide opportunities for generalization of social skills, it is important that a student get involved in activities outside of school that provide a place to meet new people. Sports activities, youth groups, community classes, and after school clubs may provide these opportunities. Knowing that structured activities are always best for individuals on the spectrum, it may be tempting to only choose these kinds of activities.

However, some unstructured time is important too, in order to provide some opportunities for things to be “unexpected,” so that students may use some problem solving skills. Sometimes a student may not want to get involved in many activities, preferring the security of home after a busy day at school. It is important to consider the number of activities, as each person may need a certain amount of time to be alone in order to regroup for the demands of daily life. 

Getting involved in activities outside of school may provide something equally important to practicing being social, it may provide for an individual a sense of belonging. 

Currently, I work with young adults at a socialization program called the Coffeehouse, a program component of AACES (Asperger’s Awareness, Community Education and Support). Our members at the Coffeehouse have taught us much about how important it is to feel like you belong to something other than your family. 

We have watched the young adults at the Coffeehouse play games together, go to the mall together and participate in discussions about things they care about. We are thrilled when we learn that some of the members are getting together outside of Coffeehouse, going bowling or out to eat together.

It is a long journey from early diagnosis to adulthood. As someone who serves young adults on the autism spectrum, I can tell you that the many hours of social skills instruction and social activities do make a difference.

It is certainly possible for an individual with an autism spectrum disorder to make a friend or several friends. One of our members said after his first night at Coffeehouse, “I can’t believe it, I’m using the social skills I learned in school!”  We wished his parents and teachers could have been there to hear it.

Amy Conte is the Coordinator of AACES (Asperger’s Awareness, Community Education and Support), a program of Family Service Association of Bucks County. Conte is the parent of a 14-year-old with Asperger’s Syndrome. She is also a volunteer member of the BCASC Education Committee.