Ella's Gift: RI Woman Writes Book About Dog & Caring For Hospice Children

WARWICK, RI— Ella, the Westie, is a pet first and foremost. But she has a way with children. Her owner and best friend, Ida Zecco, of Warwick, couldn't help noticing her dog's special connection with children.

"I didn't get her to be a therapy dog," she said. She only wanted a pet, and she had admired the West Highland Terriers she met at the Gaspee Arts Festival. After learning they came from a breeder on a Pennsylvania farm, she made the five-hour drive to find Ella.

"She was the runt of the litter," Zecco laughed. But she is also a big kisser and cuddler. Smaller than most Westies, her fur is fine and soft. Children take to her. Ultimately, Zecco signed up for a program, and Ella became a certified pet therapy dog. Their assignments have taken them to libraries and schools to help children learning to read. But their real work has been in hospices, where they visit children dying from cancer. It's a difficult job but a rewarding one. Zecco decided to write a book about their experiences, and the result is Ella's Gift.

The book is available from Author's House. The hardcover is $22.95. Paperback costs $13.95, and the e-book is $3.99.

Zecco isn't the first dog-lover to write a book about a beloved pet. But her book has a message that readers will not find in the typical dog story.

"I wanted people to have a joyful perspective regarding death," she said. "It's a hard subject to talk to anyone about." But after more than 30 years of working with the dying—first with the AIDS action committees in Boston and in Worcester and more recently with Hope Health in Hyannis and Hope Hospice in Rhode Island—she wanted to say Ella's gift is to bring parents and children the message. Death is a passage, but it's not the end.

"It's another beginning," she said. "Something of ourselves goes away with them," she said when the children die. "And we take something back." But love does not end with death.

Zecco said she and Ella act as the go-between for parents and hospital staff. It can be hard for people to understand the medical terminology especially when their children are involved. She and Ella also help the children and the family talk about the situation.

Some children do not have much time left, and they're troubled when their parents tell them they're getting better. They know that's not true.

But they don't feel they can be honest about how they're feeling. They don't want to make their parents sad, Zecco said.

"But they can talk to Ella," she said. Ella doesn't make any judgments about their feelings.

Zecco, a two-time cancer survivor herself, thinks contemporary society tries to be "immune to wanting to feel grief." It used to be people set aside three days to grieve together when someone died. Now, it's not even a day. They have a wake in the morning and go directly to the funeral.

"That's unhealthy," she maintains. "It's ok" to mourn.

As for Ella, does hospice take any toll on her?

Ella doesn't seem to become depressed when she doesn't see a child again, Zecco said.

"She's very sweet, and she does get attached but seems to be ok if she doesn’t see that child again," Zecco said. One factor that may help is that Ella doesn't see the children every day.

She is very professional little dog, too.

"When she puts on her little vest, ok, I'm going to work now."

Zecco, now a grandmother, is a Rhode Island native. Originally from West Warwick, she left 32 years to go to school and work. She is retired from the corporate world and came back to the Ocean State in 2007. After her experiences in AIDS hospice work in the 1980's, she went to Northeastern for a certificate in grief counseling. No one wanted to work in AIDS hospice then, she said.

"I had men die in my arms. They said I was the first person who touched them in a year. That was really tough," she said. But she credits the experience with helping her survive cancer twice herself.

"Counseling is like any other health care skill set," she said. "Doctors and nurses do this every day." But they don't become immune, she added.

Zecco hopes to make a second career out of her therapy with Ella. They do volunteer and will always continue to do that, she said. But she also feels there is a place for professional therapists who can work with medical professionals and parents.

"It's hard to break in," she said because so many people are pet therapists. But they're primarily visiting with their dog. She's talking about doing more.

Meanwhile, Ella, now 6, is the star of Zecco's book, and a lot of teachers have been using the book with their class. If they let her know, Zecco and Ella will visit the school. They went recently to the Slater School in Pawtucket.

Ella and the children at Slater

"Pamela Perry, the teacher at Slater, read Ella’s Gift to her class," Zecco said. "They drew pictures about the story as well as wrote letters and sent them to me. I have put them in a binder. I later brought Ella into the school so that they could meet her." It was a love-in.

Ella visiting children at Slater School