So a Pony Walks Into a Liquor Store….

The sign outside a Warren liquor store said: “No Dogs Allowed.” It said nothing about ponies.

One customer needing to restock his inventory of adult beverages decided the sign did not apply to his situation. He brought his Shetland pony along as he bought some wine.

Possibly excited by his first trip to a liquor store, the pony promptly pooped on the floor of the store. The customer, who told a local news station that he didn’t think bringing in the pony was “a big deal,” did come back to pick up his pony’s mess on the floor of the store.

Say It, Don't Spray It

A DCYF worker investigating a possible case of child neglect in North Kingstown got a bit of show-and-tell last week.

A 26-year-old NK woman reportedly drank herself to sleep in the middle of the day while her children used the kitchen sink hose to spray the apartment, causing water to flood into the apartment below. Employees of the apartment complex were called to the apartment a second time, and called DCYF when they noticed the woman appeared to be under the influence.

According to reports, the mother was not too cooperative with the child services worker. When the worker tried to ask the mother what happened at the home that day, the mother allegedly responded by spraying her with the sink hose and yelling, “This is what [expletive] happened, [expletive]!” before leaving the house with a six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

Lessons In Winning Back Your Ex

A man longing for the physical contact of his ex-girlfriend instead found the not-so-warm embrace of the law instead. The man, who had been drinking that night and was allegedly intoxicated, arrived at her home and climbed the fire escape. Then, in a truly romantic gesture, he reportedly broke into her bedroom window and tried to convince her to sleep with him. Shockingly, she instead called police who arrested the man for felony domestic breaking and entering.