Grieving During The Holidays: You Will Get Through It

“Tis the season to be jolly."

The words of a famous holiday season song, but for some this year it's different and it doesn’t look like it will be that jolly because you mourn the loss of a loved one. Someone you loved died; could be a spouse, grandparent, child, pet or a friend - someone who was a part of this celebration season.

While the ads on TV continuously remind us and everyone seems to be alive and happy, we may be looking ahead with dread and sorrow. Take a deep breath. You can get through this time. It may not be easy, but you will get through it. Yes, this year there will be a great big hole, the absence of that special someone, so here are some survival tips to get you through.

1. Choose the best way for you to get through the holidays. Don’t feel obligated to do everything that was done in past seasons, such as sending out cards or decorating, unless you want to. Do keep those traditions that bring you joy. This year you might want to forget Christmas, feel free to break with traditions and go on a trip. Be real with yourself. Decide what you can handle and what you can’t.

2. Take care of yourself, it is important that a person who has suffered a traumatic loss to be able to grieve. This is necessary if the healing process is to have a chance to work. Face your feelings. Be honest with yourself and assure yourself that this pain will fade. Know that you are moving through this grief toward a new life.

3. Look to your loved ones for support and help. Allow family and friends to support you either by practical chores like cooking, cleaning or listening to you talk about your loved one. Those moments together can open up an opportunity to talk about your absent loved one, aiding everyone in healing.

4. Faith. If you are a person with a faith tradition or not, find that place where you find peace, be it your religion or out in nature. Nourish yourself with music, art or prayer. Allow yourself to receive comfort and peace from meaningful sources of love, support and security.

5. Writing. Write your way through this season. Keep a journal or write a letter to your missed loved one. It’s a place to express your feelings and shared memories. It’s the place to say what you wanted to say and perhaps did not get the chance. See how far you have come. This exercise may help you to reestablish tranquility, balance and harmony within.

6. Attending a support group is where you will find understanding and acceptance among folks who have shared your experience. Support groups are a place where you can express your feelings without apology. Grief support can play a key role in recovery.

May you find peace and healing in this holiday season.