The Art of Forgiveness

Have you ever got so mad at someone that you would like to punch them the nose or even worse? I have and I bet you have too.

But you know what? That is called sin. Yep, no question about it.

To help us understand, we need to go to the Bible. You know: the B-I-B-L-E.

When Jesus hung on the cross He said, "Father, forgive them for they know what they do." (Luke 23:34) the principal here is to love those who hurt you by word or deed.

To understand His statement, we — you and I — need to understand where He is coming from. The key that unlocks His statement is the word Love which has three meanings.

First is "eros" from which we get the English word erotic which is a sexual word. Secondly we have the word "philos" which has the meaning of brotherly love, a human friend kind of love. A love applied generously to a number of folks who come and go in and out of our life. Some only for a short time, others for a longer period of time. Change can come due to moving away, lost of connect etc.

A good example is the number of people one has on their Facebook page. Some have only several, while others have hundreds, even thousands of people listed as "friends."

Finally, we have the word "agape". This the kind of love Jesus was expressing. A love given with no expectations of it being return. It was unconditional love freely given. Simple put, " I LOVE you. Wrapped in that is total forgiveness — Total, not just some, but total complete love based on NO expectations from the the other person. It is a gift one gives to the other person including your worst enemy. The one that may spread rumors about you, hate you, bullying you, wishes the worst for you even hates you so much that they wish you were dead.

Recently in California, an enraged man enter a beauty shop and shot and killed 8 customers and staff including his ex-wife. His motive was over custody of their child.

How hard, how difficult it is to forgive, to "agape" a person like that. You might say, "Hey, I am not involved it this. I wasn't there ... I didn't know these people." While all this may sound true, you are involved.

You read the story, watched the development on TV, radio and the Internet.

What were your thoughts when you heard the news of this horrific event? Be honest. Don't ignore your immediate feelings. What do you think about what should happen to this individual?

Remember: we are all human, it is easy to allow the seeds of hate, even wishing the worst for that person we don't know and letting those seeds to take root and grow. I've been there and I bet you have too.

How do we rid ourselves these negative mind destructive all consuming thoughts?

That's a good question. Easy to answer, but oh so hard to do especially when there is no direct physical involvement on our part.

On the flip side of the coin, consider Gabby Gifford, a member of the House of Representatives, and the others who were with her. She was shot in the head and others were killed or seriously wounded. Remember all the cards and prayers that went up. We followed her progress for months as she went and is still going through rehab. When she recently appeared in Congress to cast her vote she received a prolonged standing ovation.

To grasp the concept of "Agape" love we need to turn to scripture... what I like to call a "Manuel of Operation." You know: just like we get when we buy a car. It gives us all the information so we can have knowledge to run the car and its accessories.

To get full value for our investment. God gave us the Bible so we, you and I can know how to live our lives. Jesus expressed that when He spoke these thoughts...these feelings, He said, But I say to you,"Love (agape) Your Enemy..." (Matthew 5:44).

Perhaps you have an in-law who will not speak to you, the associate who tried to get you fired. Someone who spreads false rumors about you. Yet we are called to love those who are filled with animosity toward us. Jesus said in Luke's gospel, (Luke 6:27,28), we are to "love our enemies, and do good to those who hate you. bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you."

I hope this helps you. It helps me. As the saying goes: "It's hard to remember that you should have drained the swamp when your up to your eyeballs in alligators."

Change doesn't happen overnight. It takes real effort on your part to love and forgive. God's Holy Spirit will help you if YOU let go and let God work through you. Prayer is a powerful way to communicate with Him and receive His guidance. We sense in our spirit when we have not forgiven those who have hurt us deeply. We need to let go of those thoughts, agape/love them with no expectations (no strings attached) to each one who has hurt us or we have let get under our skin. Even those who we don't know except through the media. I know I can do it and you can do it also.

It's not going to be easy. But with God's help nothing is impossible. Amen.