Nashville's Blotto Blotter: The Best And Worst Arrests From An Intoxicated Weekend

NASHVILLE, TN — Nashville is not a city that needs an excuse to drink, but of the 52 weekends of the calendar, May's second offers more reasons than most for a little overindulgence. Between the elation of graduations and the hats, horses, highballs and High Life at the Iroquois Steeplechase, it's a weekend that frequently sees the overserved engaged in often-embarrassing encounters with the Music City's Finest.

Here's a rundown of some of the more interesting booze-related affidavits. Names have been removed to protect the hungover.

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• A 30-year-old Brentwood man may have been inspired by the running and jumping horses he (maybe) saw at the Steeplechase. A Metro Police officer saw him leap to the top of a row of porta-potties and go for a run. "The defendant ran the length of 20-25 portable toilets while other people were occupying the toilets," the officer, unimpressed by this feat of athletic prowess, wrote. The officer said during a subsequent search of the man, he found three Adderall pills in a plastic baggie for which our would-be Ninja Warrior had no prescription. The man was charged with possession of a controlled substance and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors. An inspection of the Johnnys-On-The-Spot that formed his race course found that 21 of them were damaged, so he is also charged with vandalism over $2,500. And that's a felony.
• There's an old political adage that says "admit what you can't deny and deny what you can't admit." When it comes to drunken driving, it's better to just shut up. Around 6:30 Saturday evening, police stopped a 24-year-old South Nashville man for rolling through the four-way stop at Vaughns Gap and Percy Warner. The officer said the driver had bloodshot and watery eyes and the strong odor of alcohol emanated from the cab of the pick-up. A standard response for a suspected drunken driver is to follow the old "admit what you can't deny" part of our adage; typically, that means telling the officer something like "I had three beers," even if the real number is double digits. Not our guy, though, who repeatedly insisted he was sober as a judge, until he "showed multiple indicators of impairment" during the field sobriety tests. It was then he told the officer that, yes, he'd had (you guessed it) three beers. He was arrested for DUI and violation of implied consent.
• A 19-year-old Brentwood man was smart enough not to drive after Steeplechase, at least. He was however not smart enough (or not sober enough) to keep himself from wandering out in the middle of Old Hickory Boulevard, "stumbling and unsteady on his feet" and "heavily intoxicated." He was charged with public intox and underage consumption.
• No one thought to ask a 29-year-old Springfield man if he was just desperate to have his cell phone replaced when he was discovered banging on the doors of Asurion's downtown headquarters late Saturday night. Initially, police thought they might be investigating a break-in at the mobile-device insurer, but the suspect did not manage to make entry to the Ragland Building, so he instead began "yelling, cursing, banging on cars," according to the affidavit. The man "freely admitted to consuming alcohol" and during a search, police found one smoked and one unsmoked joint. The man was charged with possession of marijuana, disorderly conduct and public intox.
• A 57-year-old Nashville man told officers he was driving eastbound on the westbound shoulder of Interstate 40 because of the three shots of alcohol he had before he got in the car. The officers, on the other hand, think it may have had to do with the mostly consumed handle of New Amsterdam vodka and two joints in the car. The man was charged with DUI, possession of marijuana, open container and violation of the implied consent law.
• A 31-year-old Nashville man pulled over for following too closely on Murfressboro Pike early Sunday hit the high score on the field sobriety tests with "six indicators on the HGN task...five indicators on the walk and turn ... (and) three indicators on the one leg stand." Nevertheless, he refused the blood draw, although, according to the officer "The defendant continued to state that he was in the wrong and knew he f----- up".

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