Our society attributes a high value to the roles that parents fulfill. We even celebrate these roles with holidays like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Parents' Day. These occasions act as an opportunity to recognize our parents for all they have provided us. However, the spirit and appreciation given on these holidays should not be specific to a single day of the year. The kind treatment and respect of one’s parents should be a universal duty of every individual--one that is not constricted by the bounds of time. And when we consider the standard of treating our parents in Islam specifically, it becomes ever more crucial.
In Islam, the kind treatment of parents is second only in duties to praying to God himself. With regards to this, the Holy Qur’an states, “Thy Lord has decreed that you worship none save Him alone, and behave beneficently towards parents. If either or both of them should attain old age while you are alive, say not `ugh’ to them, nor chide them, and speak kindly to them. And lower to them the wing of humility out of tenderness. And say: My Lord have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was little” (17:24-25).
This verse pinpoints the importance that is given to parents. They should be treated with affection, love and care especially when they are vulnerable in old age. When our parents are not treated with appropriate admiration, the consequences often leave us feeling miserable.
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Just recently I came across an article that brought tears to my eyes. A former model was eaten alive by scabies in a nursing home facility in Georgia. As I continued to read the tragic report, one pressing question remained in the back of my mind: where was this woman’s family? They were not present at the time of death, and by the time they had come to discover what had happened to the woman it was too late. This unfortunate situation should stand to remind us the importance of valuing our parents at all times.
Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad, the fourth Caliph of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community in his book, Islam’s Response to Contemporary Issues, states:
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The responsibility for care of the aged is gradually shifting to the state. Care of the aged represents a heavy burden on the national economy. However much a state is ready to spend, it can never buy them peace and contentment. The most terrible feeling of having been rejected, left out and abandoned, and the most painful realization, of a growing void of loneliness within are problems beyond the reach of many to resolve. To consider that a comparatively remote relative would ever be taken care of by the rest of the family has become almost impossible to imagine. If contemporary society would learn the lessons from those injunctions, many problems which it faces today and which represent a blemish on an advanced society, would cease to exist. No elderly homes or homes for the aged would be needed, except for some aged people who, unfortunately, have no close relative to look after them. But in an Islamic society, the love between parents and children is so repeatedly emphasized that it is impossible for a child to abandon his or her parents when they grow old for the sake of his or her own pleasure.
Islam places mothers on a high status: Once a person came to the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be on him) and asked, `O Holy Messenger of God who is the most deserving person to get nice treatment from me?’ He replied, `Your mother.’ He asked, `Who next?’ To this, he got the same reply. When he repeated this question for the fourth time, he was told by the Holy Prophet, `Your father.’
Islam also recognizes the importance and significance of fathers. Once Hadhrat Abu Hurairah, a companion of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) came across two persons. He asked one of them about the other. The person replied that the other one was his father. Then Hadhrat Abu Hurairah strictly advised the son never call his father by name and neither walk ahead nor take seat before he takes the seat first in a gathering.
The mistreatment of parents is an act that can only lead to negatives. In fact, it is almost certainly a prediction of someone's end. Service of parents is essential at every stage of their lives - whether they are young or old. In Islam great emphasis is given to the kind treatment of parents and not fulfilling this duty is equitable to a sin. Thus we should all strive to keep our parents in mind and always remember to hold them in the ultimate regard.
