‘Where Do They Find The Time’: Austin Woman Opens Facebook. Then She Learns How Many Women Her Man Is Dating

An Austin woman joined an “Are We Dating The Same Guy” Facebook group. Then she found out that her partner was dating countless women from the area.

“Put a finger down if you've ever been personally victimized by the ‘are we dating the same guy’ Facebook groups. That's how I found out the guy I was talking to was [expletive] 15 other women,” said Ash (@aykraem13), who later said she would post a storytime regarding what exactly happened.

As of Jan. 2, she has not made any additional updates. But, how could someone find out their partner was cheating from a “are we dating the same guy group?” And, do these groups further victimize women who want “peace?”

What group is Ash referring to?

In her video, Ash mentioned that she used a specific Facebook group catered to Austin women. There are a number of "Are We Dating The Same Guy” Facebook groups dedicated to the Austin area. Most are private and require that a woman requests to join first before making posts or seeing any content.

One of these groups, “Are we dating the same guy Austin Tx Edition” has 8,576 members as of Jan 2. Other Texas groups encompass the area of San Antonio and Austin, supporting women who believe they have cheating partners that travel between both cities or live in one.

One commenter who posted to a local group said, “My guy got 80 comments, was on every dating app, and had a complete parallel relationship with someone else for the entire time we were together.”

There’s also a general “Are We Dating The Same Guy” group, which has 1.6 million members and is public. This group receives a variety of posts, from “warnings” about certain men to general dating questions. Often women will post completely unrelated discussion threads generally musing over cheaters. In that regard, the “Are We Dating The Guy” group created in 2024 has transformed from a simple space to a large, social group of women who have suspected cheating in one form or another.

What rules do these dating groups have?

Usually a woman cannot provide explicit details about their partner in these groups. They can post a picture of them, but they may be limited in how they “out” or expose personal information. For instance, Ash’s group limited posting names and instead allowed women to post initials along with other key details.

The “Are We Dating The Same Guy” group with 1.6 million followers doesn’t appear to have any specific rules listed in its about page, so users will sometimes post full contact information despite the general advice and warning not to. Full phone numbers, names, and personal details have gotten exposed in that group.

Otherwise, women provide some details in their post and see if other women are familiar with their partner. They’ll usually leave comments indicating that they’ve met up with the man or seen them on dating apps with a timeline. For instance, a woman might comment that they’ve seen that man on Hinge in 2024. That helps the woman posting create a timeline to determine whether or not their partner cheated on them.

Can you trust Facebook dating groups?

Generally, it can be hard to blindly trust Facebook groups, but there are valid reasons to believe them if there are people confirming cheating there.

Most of the women coming to these groups have suspicions about their romantic partners already, whether they have concrete evidence or not. If multiple people come forward and say that they met with a person’s partner, it’s likely that there’s a kernel of truth to it. Likewise, many of these women can provide victims of cheating screenshots and other information to prove that an affair happened, which can provide meaningful context.

But it’s important to be wary and understand that one post in these Facebook groups doesn’t guarantee an answer, nor does it guarantee the information there is true.

We’ve reached out to Ash via TikTok direct message for more information. We’ll let you know if she responds.

@aykraem13