Adults Behaving Badly At Youth Sports; What Should You Do? Block Talk

The arrival of spring weather means a return to youth sports and the season of disappointments — not in the performance of the kids, but in the behavior of some of the adults surrounding them.

Disruptive behavior by parents is becoming more common, with nearly 40 percent of officials identifying parents as the primary source of sportsmanship issues, according to a National Association of Sports Officials survey.

About 64 percent of referees have ejected parents, and 75 percent of them have quit officiating because of adult behavior, according to the surveys. About 55 percent of adults said they’d witnessed verbal disputes.

Here’s an example in which the kids paid because some of the adults around them couldn’t control themselves.

The final games of a youth football season in Salem, Massachusetts, were canceled after parents of players for the opposing team got into a fight that eventually involved about a half-dozen people and left one woman injured, Patch previously reported.

“The actions that occurred today are not the standards we set as a league,” the league organizers said in a statement. “Youth sports is a place for children to learn, gain confidence, and find a love for playing the game. It is in moments like this that we can reflect on our purpose as guardians and mentors and take the time to teach our children that the actions of today are not the norm and negatively affect everyone involved; most primarily the children.”

In another case, a Malverne, Pennsylvania, woman and her father were charged with assault on a sports official and other charges after an attack on a man and woman that also hurt a child at a kids' basketball game, Patch reported.

The fight during the second-graders’ game started when the assistant coach, a 36-year-old woman, got into an argument with the opposing team’s assistant coach over complaints she was shouting and cursing, according to police.

“The most important thing is to be the adult in the room,” Lower Merion Police Sgt. Michael Keenan told Patch. “People get heated, but it’s your responsibility to make it fun for the kids. Any other behavior will lead to consequences. People need ot be held accountable.”

Many experts, including those from Johns Hopkins Medicine, say youth sports today can feel overly intense for young kids, with pressure from parents and coaches turning what should be a fun experience into a high-stakes, anxiety-filled push to win.

“They seem much more competitive than they used to be,” Dr. Katherine Dahab, a pediatric sports medicine physician at Children’s Hospital Colorado, said in a news release. “We’re seeing kids playing one sport year-round, starting club sports a lot younger. It sometimes seems like society is pushing beyond ‘Let’s play and have fun and learn life lessons’ to ‘Let’s train, let’s get this college scholarship, let’s win.’”

What do you think? Have youth sports gotten out of control? What’s the best way to return fun to the game while preserving the important ways youth sports benefit kids, such as through physical activity, sportsmanship, getting along with others, and being part of a team?

We’re asking for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column. Just fill out the survey below. As always, we don’t collect email addresses.

About Block Talk

Block Talk is a regular Patch feature offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

Catch Up On Block Talk

• Neighbors Share Random Acts Of Kindness That ‘Blew Them Away’
• These Things Drive Neighbors Up The Wall As Winter Drags On
• Who Pays When Your Neighbor’s Tree Damages Your Property?
• Sidewalk Snow Removal Scofflaws Create Frosty Relationships
• What To Do When Your Neighbor’s Weed ‘Smells Like A Skunk’s Behind’
• If You Don’t Return A Shopping Cart, Are You A Total Jerk?
• ‘Poop Cleanup In Aisle 9’: Do Dogs Belong In Stores?