On Airplanes, Who Gets The Middle Seat Armrests? [Flightmares]

ACROSS AMERICA — If you find yourself on a full flight this holiday season, don’t hog the middle seat armrests.

That’s according to the majority of readers who answered our informal survey asking who has rights to the middle seat armrests for Flightmares, Patch’s exclusive monthly flight etiquette column. We asked:

In rows with two seats, who gets the shared armrest? Do you claim it or negotiate it? In rows with three seats, are people assigned to undesirable middle seats entitled to both?

Mel, a Murietta (California) Patch reader, thinks the passengers in the window and aisle seats should extend the courtesy of the middle seat armrests to the person cramped in that seat.

“I have asked those seated by me, ‘Would it be OK if every half hour, we could take turns?’” Mel said, suggesting “a quick announcement by the pilot at the start of the flight mentioning that we all have more arms than armrests, and at 40,000 feet, we are closer to heaven, so be an angel, thank you.”

Middletown (New Jersey) Patch reader Megan thinks the passenger in the middle seat should get both shared armrests, but agreed with others the problem can be solved through a polite conversation with the other passengers in the row.

Is This Really A Problem?

Samantha, an Elmhurst (Illinois) Patch reader, was surprised to learn that control of the armrests can be a point of contention on flights.

“They are shared,” Samantha said. “Nobody automatically gets the armrest.”

Samantha happily gives up the armrests and thinks everyone else should, too.

“Even if I’m in the middle seat, I don’t use the armrests,” Samantha said. “I may land my elbow on it a few times throughout the flight, but it’s not there to stay.

“I think proper etiquette is to just leave it open and keep to yourself,” she said. “Flights are not meant to be comfortable; that’s what first class is for. They are shared. Nobody automatically gets the armrest.”

Brian, who reads Bel Air (Maryland) Patch, says there’s no question.

“Middle seat is entitled to both armrests,” Brian said, “It is compensation for having the worst of the three seats.”

Livermore (California) Patch reader Julianna agrees. There should be no dispute. “The middle person decides,” Julianna said.

Frank, a Tinley Park (Illinois) Patch reader, thinks the same, and also that it shouldn’t be an issue. “Just give it up [the shared armrest] if you’re not in the middle seat; just take if you are,” Frank said.

He added, “Airlines are derelict in their duty by not giving clear guidance on personal space within each seat on a flight.”

Should they have to?

“If you are in the aisle or window seat, it is cordial to let the middle seat traveler have the shared armrests,” said Polly, a Sachem (New York) Patch reader, allowing, though, that “possession is 9/10ths of the law.”

‘Big Men On Both Sides’

Melissa, an Illinoisan who reads Plainfield Patch and Naperville Patch, thinks the middle-seat passenger is entitled to both armrests — or at least one of them.

“As the person in the middle, I find big men usually on both sides of me,” Melissa said. “Their shoulders come into my seat and usually I have no armrest.”

Patch reader Nanny said the armrests with the controls obviously belong to that seat, but the person who is seated first can claim the shared armrest without controls, then, Nanny said, "Pray your seat is not next to a large overweight person."

“Armrests are neutral ground,” said Hackettstown (New Jersey) Patch reader Doug. “Stay on your side.

“Nobody gets the armrest,” Doug reiterated. “It’s a barrier. Respect the space of others.”

Doug suggests “elbow wars” to make the point. He’s probably kidding. We guess Across America Patch reader Ivan is, too.

Ivan takes the shared armrest, regardless of his seat assignment.

“The biggest, strongest always wins,” Ivan said. “I bring my saber to fix the problem,”

Actually, we know Ivan is joking. TSA would never allow a saber in carry-on luggage.

About Flightmares

Flightmares is an exclusive Patch feature on flight etiquette — and readers provide the answers. It will appear monthly on Patch. If you have a topic you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Flightmares” as the subject line.

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