'A Fun Afternoon For Sure': Black Bear Takes Swipe At Crime Life

Good morning! It’s Thursday, Aug. 26. The month is swiftly coming to a close — but before we prepare to bid August adieu, here are a few stories you won’t want to leave behind:

• New York’s COVID-19 death total grew by 12,000 on Wednesday.
• A black bear in Connecticut is giving us strong Charmin vibes.
• An elderly man was attacked after smiling at a baby.
• A federal appeals court upheld Dylann Roof's conviction and death sentence.

Nirvana Album Baby Sues Band

Spencer Elden, the baby who appeared on the cover of Nirvana's iconic "Nevermind" album, has filed a lawsuit against the band and several others, accusing them of child exploitation and pornography.

Elden, now 30, was photographed for the album cover when he was 4 months old. He's seen in a pool with his genitalia exposed as he appears to swim toward a $20 bill on a fish hook.

Thirty years later, Elden's lawyer is claiming the image crosses the line into child pornography and the use of currency in the shots makes the baby appear like a sex worker. » Baby On Nirvana Album Cover Sues Band, Calling It Child Porn, via Across Washington Patch

COVID Deaths In NY Skyrocket

One day after Gov. Kathy Hochul was sworn in, promising a change and an emphasis on transparency, she said the number of people in New York who died of COVID-19 is 12,000 more than what had been reported by now-former Andrew Cuomo.

"Transparency starting just today, we're now releasing more data than had been released before publicly, so people know the nursing home deaths and the hospital deaths are consistent with what's being displayed by the CDC," Hochul said. » 12K Deaths Added To NY's Coronavirus Total, via East Hampton Patch

Black Bear Turns Porch Pirate

A Connecticut bear sauntered away from Kristin Levine's front porch this week with an Amazon package containing toilet paper, prompting one-liners and inevitable comparisons to Charmin ads — you know, the ones with the family of bears singing about how clean their bums are.

The bear swiped the package after it was delivered to Levine’s home, casually walked away with the package dangling from its mouth, and delivered it to a neighbor’s yard.

"It was hysterical," Levine told a local television station, calling it "a fun afternoon for sure." » Black Bear Turns Porch Pirate, Saunters Away With Amazon Package, via Southington Patch

After Smiling At Baby, Elderly Man Attacked

Harry Craig Enlow had driven to a car wash near his home in Abingdon, Maryland on Saturday. While waiting, he spied a baby with its family. Enlow waved and offered a "cute compliment" to make the family smile. In response, the baby’s dad attacked the 75-year-old man, leaving him with three broken ribs and two brain bleeds, authorities said. » Dundalk Dad Punches 75-Year-Old For Waving At His Baby: Police, via Dundalk Patch

Chicago Bears Offered New Home

The Chicago Bears have made it clear they are considering leaving Soldier Field, near downtown Chicago. While the team is contemplating a move to the northwest suburb of Arlington Heights, the mayor of southwest suburban Joliet wants the NFL franchise to consider moving there instead. » Chicago Bears Invited To Move To Joliet Property By Mayor, via Joliet Patch

Afghanistan Latest

More than 1,500 Americans could still be waiting to leave Afghanistan, U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken said on Wednesday. At least 4,500 Americans have been evacuated so far. Read live updates via The Washington Post

House Porn: In search of an idyllic backyard oasis? Look no further than this Orinda, California, paradise. At a cool $4.99 million, the home’s back yard features natural stone patios, loggias, gas fire pits, a pool, spa and lush Mediterranean gardens with multiple fruit trees.

Around ‘The Patch’

• Death Sentence For Church Shooter Dylann Roof Upheld, via Across America Patch
• Parents' Refusal To Wear Masks Leads Board To Halt Meeting, via Wall, New Jersey, Patch
• Ohio State University Announces COVID-19 Vaccine Requirement, via Cleveland Patch
• Governor Heckled By Parents Over CT Schools Mask Mandate, via Bethel Patch
• First Case Of West Nile Virus Of 2021 Confirmed In Baltimore Area, via Baltimore Patch
• Pennsylvania Governor Asks Legislature To Mandate Masks In Schools, via Norristown Patch

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