Rehearse!

It is good to rehearse. Rehearse what you are going to say to someone; practice what you intend to do about a situation. It pays to rehearse; as is said in theater, you will pretty much do in performance what you have done in rehearsal. This pertains to life, not just theater.

Take professional golf as an example. Pro players find themselves in real trouble, faced with a tricky sand shot. They calmly set up and pull it off. We think, “Wow, what great talent.” That may be the case, but what we don’t see are the hours they have already practiced and rehearsed just such a shot. They are merely doing seemingly effortlessly that for which they have arduously prepared.

As Shakespeare said, “The readiness is all.” I have that saying on one of the walls in my office. To get ready, you have to rehearse. I remember my Marine Corps days. You had to rehearse constantly, this or that threat and how you were to respond. You came to know what you were ready for, and that generated calmness and confidence.

This also holds true for examinations taken in school. I used to teach a summer course on study skills at Iowa Wesleyan College. And one essential step to take in preparation for an examination is to actively review and rehearse what you have studied. When you are able to recall something, you know that you know the material. That is the key: knowing what you know.

Research has shown that to reduce test anxiety, you simply have to know what you know. To find out what you know in preparation for an examination, ask yourself questions from the test material and then sit back and listen to yourself answer your own questions. If you should get any of those questions on the test, rather than fear, what you will feel is thankfulness – thankfulness for both your preparation and for the teacher asking you things you know!

Another crucial area in need of rehearsal is human relationships. I was embarrassingly tongued-tied as a youngster under conditions of heightened emotion. I would want to say something, but I was often not sure of what to say, let alone how to say it. So I either said nothing or stammered. Kids sometimes laughed at me. Occasionally I would get into fights because all I could do was let my fists do the talking. Such reactions were crude and hurtful and self-defeating.

Finally, by eighth grade my frustration with myself reached critical mass. I decided I had to learn how to be sufficiently articulate. I observed carefully how respected peers spoke. I imagined various social situations, and what I could and should say. Like a golfer, I mentally practiced using every club in my bag; I rehearsed differing kinds of shots, differing kinds of answers or responses to whatever life might present me.

Rehearsing has definitely helped me prepare for and face various social situations. Whatever you are willing to rehearse, you can likely pull off in real life. I have worked with persons in their preparation for family interventions and confrontations. First we would establish their desired goal, moving toward either reconciliation or relational ending. Then we would practice together, carefully rehearsing what needed to be said, how it needed to be said, and to whom it needed to be said. Sure enough, they would subsequently do in performance just as they had done in rehearsal.